Egotastic! The Sexy Side Of Celebrity Gossip | Because Men Think Differently

Nina Agdal and Irina Shayk Double Down Bikini Time for Beach Bunny

By Bill Swift | March 11, 2014 @ 8:45 am

Nina Agdal Bikinis for Beach Bunny March 2014

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Talk about two champions of the hot body world coming together in an epic sandwich of bikini pimping. Nina Agdal (above) an her body that everybody wants to either sell or to, you know, do other things with. And Irina Shayk, world class sultry babe...

Irina Shayk Hot in Beach Bunny Bikinis March 2014

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...both working overtime with bodies that won't quit, can't quit, and simply won't ever be fired to push the Beach Bunny swimwear line. I suppose the idea is that you buy a Beach Bunny suit and you will look like either Irina or Nina. I wonder if you get your pick or just have to leave that magical effect up to Mother Nature. Either way, you can't really go wrong. This is similar to how when I don a Speedo, I look like Michael Phelps, on the inside stoner side mostly I guess. Marketing geniuses at Beach Bunny score another round. Enjoy.

Victoria Silvstedt Can Not Be Denied Her Bikini Visual Time

By Bill Swift | March 10, 2014 @ 2:27 pm

Victoria Silvstedt in a Pink Bikini on Miami Beach

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I'm not sure what Victoria Silvstedt is searching for in her bikini bottoms, but maybe it's the power switch to some kind of promotional signage she has to up her competitive bikini mode even higher along the beach in Miami. Everybody, and I mean, every hot woman, from the young to the mature, are getting into this showoff battle. Victoria has an array of brightly colored bikinis, one curvaceous tanned female form, and apparently a Brazilian wax that says she's not only in this game, she came to win.

One of these days I need to get myself on an Eastern Air Lines flight down to Miami with nothing but a tube of zinc oxide and my camera and get down to the real work of documenting this natural migration of the hotties along the shores of South Florida. You can have your flamingos and polar bear nature videos, I'm going straight for the bikini sextastic. This is simply the high season. Enjoy.

VICTORIA GOES RIGHT FOR THE WEDGIE REMOVAL LIKE AN OLD PRO

Victoria Silvstedt Fixes a Deep Bikini Wedgie

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Marysol Patton See-Through Bulging Wet Bosom at Miami Beach

By Bill Swift | March 10, 2014 @ 2:19 pm

Marysol Patton See-Through Wet Top in a Bikini on Miami Beach

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Well, like I've been saying, the competition is very rough at Miami Beach. If you're one of the mid-40's Bravo housewife divorcees like Marysol Patton you can bet you're already facing an uphill battle. And nothing says I'm ready for battle like wearing a sheer top without a bikini on underneath as you splash your big newer funbags in and out of the ocean. It's definitely a strategy, one I highly endorse at that. You can't just show up without a plan.

Marysol Patton, you may not quite have the game of the dozens of 20-something international models flocked to South Florida to show off their Pilates and God-given genetically blessed bodies, but you've got style and veteran know-how, my dear lady. I applaud you and your wet boobtastic. Enjoy.

DEAR GIADA ALMOST KILLED ME WITH HER WET SUN TOP IN THE WATER

Giada De Laurentiis on the Today Show in Barbados

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Josephine Skriver Gets a Little Topless in Black and White for the Fat Man

By Bill Swift | March 10, 2014 @ 12:58 pm

Click to See Uncensored

Josephine Skriver Topless Black and White Shoot in Fat Man Magazine #1

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That would be Fat Man magazine, not necessarily for one of the seventeen nicknames my dad used to call me when he'd come home late from the Buffalo Lodge. Either way, the alluring Danish model Josephine Skriver is posing her black and white and hot all over female form in this periodical for the benefit of people who happen to love sextastic Scandinavians in various forms of undress. I'll go ahead and peg that number around here at one-hundred percent.

While I'm a color-blind man who really digs color, I have to say, without sounding artsy or snotty, of which I am only one, this black and white photography really can bring out the true beauty in, well, truly beautiful women. I wouldn't go for it unless I was quite certain I fell into that category. But for the cream of the crop blessed with the genetics of a Josehine Skriver, it really is rather stunning. Though, let's do the full nekkids in color please. Enjoy.

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Miranda Kerr Is Doing More Than Alright, She’s Getting Nekkid And Getting Paid (VIDEO)

By Bill Swift | March 10, 2014 @ 12:48 pm

Miranda Kerr Teasy Covered Nekkid in Reebok Ad

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In case you were worried if Miranda Kerr would ever find a job again after Victoria's Secret, um, yeah, worry no longer. That's just crazy talk. Miranda has been triple booked since the day she cut ties with V.S., picking up modeling and endorsement deals for women's apparel and accessories like I pick up so many debt collection notices from my mailbox each Tuesday. As in, a lot.

Miranda's latest is her must-see commercial for Rebook. It might be Nike or Adidas actually, I can't really pay attention to what she's selling, just watching her coming home and stripping out of her clothes and into the shower. I think the commercial implies that her neighbors are peeking in her windows too, which makes this ad feel very real to me as I would do exactly that if I were her neighbor. I'd probably watch her unoccupied couch for at least four hours a day, just because she once sat on it. Being a pervert is somewhat time consuming, but it's an affordable hobby. Enjoy.

Ashley Greene Plays a Boobtastic Priscilla Presley Filming on the Beach

By Bill Swift | March 10, 2014 @ 12:35 pm

Ashley Greene in a Yellow Swimsuit Filming on a Beach in LA

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I'm not exactly sure what this new movie Shangri-La Suite is all about. Something to do with killing Elvis Presley. I only know that Ashley Green is playing Priscilla which means I'm bound to probably go and see it. Or just watch the not-seen-enough Ashley Greene flashing her wicked hot body in period piece costumes like this yellow bathing suit along the beach filming over the weekend.

I'd watch a boobtastic Ashley Green play pretty much any role, though room service to my Red Roof Inn parking lot view suite would be ideal. I'm a big tipper as it turns out. Well, when you look like Ashley Greene, I'm a big tipper, otherwise the man in Room 117 can be a bit of a miser. It's all about priorities. Today, my priority is looking down Ashley Greene's top. What's yours? Enjoy.