guest-post - January 5, 2017
According to anonymous sources who are probably fake, Miley Cyrus is pissed that a Miley Cyrus impersonator agreed to perform as Miley in blackface in an upcoming TV pilot. Unclear how she feels about porn star Miley May jacking her likeness or if she watches these videos on loop while high on cannabis laced Nutella and masturbating with a cat toy. The show is called Thanks for Trying and is apparently based on the lives of several unemployed actors so it should really resonate with people who live in LA and New York and nowhere else. It's interesting Cyrus would be offended about blackface when she has personally dressed as Slutty Pocahontas for Halloween, not to mention sullying the good name of the hippies and deciding she was gay exactly when it became socially acceptable to get congratulatory responses on Twitter. She was also down with the homeless cause for one week during the VMA's two years ago. Do you still text that homeless kid? Not for drugs? Also, getting a train run on you at the Chateau doesn't necessarily mean you're sexually liberated.
The people behind this show must either be really smart or incredibly stupid. Smart money is on the latter. Blackface was funny in Tropic Thunder, but to pull it off you need a really sharp angle and it can't be drinking seven Natty Lights and securing funding from your frat brother whose dad is a higher up at Monsanto, followed by having James Franco sign on to direct it at his USC film class. Turns out he just fucks your girlfriend. Or boyfriend. One of the leads appears to be a black guy. It's uncertain if he's commented yet or is busy hatching plans to jump the producers outside the studio. Shit, that sounded racist. Not as racist as this show, but still, it's 2017, white people cannot wear makeup. The cast of Hamilton, different story all together. Fuck, this show looks stupid. It will probably be Miley's new favorite.
Photo Credit: Instagram