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Macaulay Culkin Takes His Dates to Knott’s Berry

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elliot-wolf - October 4, 2017

Michael Jackson was magical. He managed to touch the hearts of many youth the same way he managed to touch the privates of the ones in arm’s reach. Allegedly. And it looks like he still has some of himself inside of Macaulay Culkin. And no not the damning DNA that the court ordered rape kit didn’t manage to find because a forensics examiner can be bribed, but his influence. What better way to cover up either being gay or attracted to children than being almost 40 and taking your date to Knott’s Berry Farm. That’s only normal if you’re trying to score with a single mom and attempting to impress her kids before you bang and bail. But then again child actors aren’t functional adults. So an amusement park date isn’t too far fetched. Culkin may not have Mike money for his amusement park size field of dreams when it comes to kids, so frequenting these places is the next best option. Jackson understood that if you build it they will come. And then he could come too. 

Culkin, 37, and The Suite Life of Zack and Cody alum, 29, were spotted taking in the amusement park’s rides with Seth Green and his wife, Entertainment Tonight reported. A source told the outlet, “Parkgoers said they were very cute with each other holding hands and very affectionate. Looked like they were having a great time.”

Macaulay Culkin was caught cozied up with Brenda Song. I’m placing bets that this is clearly a cover up. His best friend Paris Jackson is barely legal and amusement parks are full of kids. Throwing my red flag in to challenge that play. But I could be wrong. It’s possible that Brenda may be into men who look like the malnourished druggie version of Jax from Sons of Anarchy. Maybe men who paint their nails and resemble Shaggy with a mystery van full of candy is the “In” trend. We will just have to see how long this relationship plays out. 

Photo Credit: CEDAR FAIR ENTERTAINMENT/Splash/Instagram

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