Jessica Simpson’s Breasts are a Disability

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bill-swift - January 19, 2007

Jessica Simpson's life is full of problems, and one, or rather two of the biggest problems used to be Jessica Simpson's breasts. According to PR Inside, the busty singer says that her breasts kept her from becoming a gospel singer when she was younger because they made her look too sexy.

The 26-year-old was asked not to sing solos in church, because men found her feminine assets too distracting. However, having found fame and success as both a pop singer and an actress career, Simpson now "wears" her breasts proudly.

She says, "I always felt they disabled me from what I wanted to do. Now, I own them. They're like wearing a great necklace. You can't pay for that sort of accessory - though I know people do. But they never look as good at the real ones."

Okay, first of all, what kind of Gospel singer is wearing low-cut tops in Church? The last time I saw a Church choir they were all wearing long robes, and were covered from head to toe. I think they just didn't want some skanky girl running around in her underwear.

Secondly, if anything is disabling Jessica Simpson, it's not her breasts. In fact, they're probably the main reason she has a career at all, because unlike the Church, thankfully, the rest of the world has much lower standards of decency. And we don't mind seeing Jessica Simpson's breasts at all.

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