In Honor of Iron Man 3: Three of the Most Craptacular Superhero Games This Side of Krypton

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chris-littlechild - October 25, 2012

You've rabidly devoured the inaugural trailer for Iron Man 3 (unless you haven't, in which case shave your pubes with a machete in penitence to the great god of geeks and behold it here). From this fleeting coup d'oeil, we've surmised that it promises the hold on to your mansack melodramatic action and superhuman pugilism that's synonymous with any such movie. Presumably alongside the woefully unbalanced style over substance ratio, which is also integral to these capers.

Nevertheless, as any unfortunate bastard that has experienced the horrors of such convoluted horseshit as the Da Vinci Code movie (subtitled Tom Hanks Dicks Around in the Worst Hairpiece the Universe has Ever Seen for Three Hours Or So. We'll concede that we may -may- have merely added that to the DVD case, which we don't own, in marker pen) will attest, in action movies this is certainly a worthy trade-off.

Spectacle is everything, which is frequently where super hero video games falter. Replicating the wonderment of ‘being' one of these extraordinary entities is a Herculean task. Additionally, there are those titles that do not merely falter, they rollerblade in their mid-life crisis spandex, fall spectacularly and trap their genitals in a storm drain. As a salutation to the third Iron Man movie, a triumvirate of terrible awaits your delectation in the gallery. Hold your nose, cork your rectum, and peruse.