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If Aliens Invade, We’re Screwed

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Michael Garcia - October 11, 2016

The Russian government has admitted that they can do nothing to stop an alien invasion. The Ruskies have a very sophisticated air defense system from back in the Cold War days. They can basically take down anything that comes in from a low Earth orbit. However, during a missile test at the Titov Test and Space Systems Control Center a journalist asked the chief officer, Sergey Berezhnoy, if their system can protect them from an alien invasion. The Berezhnoy said,

"So far, we are not capable of that. We are unfortunately not ready to fight extraterrestrial civilizations. Our center was not tasked with it. There are too many problems on Earth and near it."

"Well, that's Russia, Michael. We'll be OK. USA! USA!", you might be saying. But the truth is that our missile defense system isn't a whole lot better. Our stuff is mostly from the Cold War era as well. Plus, if you don't take the threat of alien invasion seriously you won't train for it. So, write to your congressmen and tell them to A) Get back to work and B) That we need to make alien invasion a national security priority. Sure, we have contingency plans for terrorists and rogue nations attacking us but what about an Independence Day-like alien apocalypse? If killing a giant octopus with a laser gun isn't homeland security I don't know what is.

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