Sam Robeson - May 5, 2017
Gigi Hadid was spotted putting on a three-ring circus for paparazzi Thursday night. She has to make up for lost publicity as the only famous Instagram prostitute not backpedaling fast from promoting the Fyre Festival. Hadid wears a sports bra covered in a mesh top paired with plaid pants and a plaid shirt. At twenty-two she can get away with only showing off a little skin. Once her expiration date is up in about two weeks we’ll only write about her if she wears a crotchless bikini. Or that One Direction bisexual gangbang tape leaks.
The crafty Hadid happened to be photographed while visiting Taylor Swift’s Manhattan apartment. Swift has been in hiding for the past three months pounding zero calorie snacks. Her suicidal cultish fans have speculated over here whereabouts ever since. Swifites believe Hadid’s visit proves Swift is in New York City. Or maybe she just died and her old friends are taking turns watering her remains.
Hadid doesn’t have faith in the general public’s deductive reason skills. She brought along a conspicuous Polaroid camera. The vapid capitalistic whores comprising their "squad" love taking Polaroid pictures. So retro. So esoteric. Bella Hadid is in some of these images from earlier in the day. She was attending meetings planning out how to next scam her followers. They’re following her. The scam has already happened. What happened to the lyme disease again?
Photo Credit: Splash News
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