CELEBRITIES

Christina Hendricks’ Pushed-Up Super Busty Melons

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aldo-vallon - May 16, 2018

I have a feeling that Christina Hendricks knows exactly how juicy she looks. Why else would she choose to carry around a watermelon handbag?

I am a man who loves himself some watermelon, but I refrain from carrying around any watermelon paraphernalia because I know that I do not have the body to back it up. The gods cursed me with a body so juiceless the FDA made me get a tattoo disclosing that I do not contain any juice.

Christina on the other hand could end a drought in Africa with all of the water that she is retaining. And I am pretty sure that her melons are getting bigger with age. Is she actually being used as a retention pond just in case we are hit with tragedy. I always thought the ending to The Grapes of Wrath was a little odd, but if I was faced with either death or being breastfed by Christina’s spigots I suppose I would take the latter.

I hope Christina is taking great care to stay away from needles. That means no tattoos or heroin addictions. I have seen what happens to water balloons when they get punctured and it ruins all the fun.

 

Photo Credit: Splash News / Instagram 

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