Oh, how the worm turns. Actually, I’m not even sure what that expression means, I only know how Mr. Dudley meant it when he offered to give us kids free candy if we met him in the alley behind the bowling alley after school. Turns out, there really is no such thing as free candy.
But life has certainly changed for Rachel Uchitel, the former nightclub hostess and hooker-upper of pro ballplayers with hot willing ladies, not to mention her own fling as Mistress number something or other with Tiger Woods (though she claims she was just the madam) that reportedly netted her $10 Million in hush money from the Tiger. Now, recently remarried and down Mexico way, Rachel is showing off the rather still nice bikini body of one of the smarter, more opportunistic ladies we’ve come across in our Egotastic! journey. When in doubt, just check the body out. And, enjoy.
Rihanna Barbados bikini top. (Celebuzz)
Anne Hathaway red carpet hotness. (HuffPo)
Are Kristin Cavallari and Audrina Patridge getting together? (GossipCop)
Irina Shayk in a sexy, little dress. (GossipCenter)
Rachel Uchitel is raking it in. (TMZ)
Nicole Scherzinger drops some mega cleavage. (Popoholic)
Cheerleaders doing the splits. (TheChive)
Much more Whitney Port bikini pictures. (Celebuzz)
Emma Watson is an official beauty. (HuffPo)
Rachel Uchitel returns her Tiger Woods hush money. (FoxNews)
Ashley Tisdale tightens and tones her killer body. (GossipCenter)
Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber crash a Malibue wedding. (TMZ)
Catherine Zeta-Jones reveals some well-aged cleavage. (Popoholic)
Kate Upton + Slow Motion = My Only Plans for the Night. (Break)
To be fair, Rachel Uchitel has always claimed to merely be the friendly pimp for famous sports celebrities, not the object d’ booty knocking, though rumors have it she got a little something something for herself in the process. Like, a bazillion smackeroos, according to our friends at TMZ (10 Million Reasons Tiger Was Afraid of Rachel). But, now, that’s all in the past as Rachel has moved on to working her bikini body for some new boyfriend who ultimately must be asking Rachel if he’s better in the sack than Tiger Woods and better than Derek Jeter, which just seems far too complicated, despite Rachel’s new found fortune and still slamming body. Hell, I get upset when my girlfriend reminds me that her former boyfriend wasn’t just a clerk at Foot Locker, he was an assistant manager. Imaging dating a girl who’s been boot knocking with the worlds greatest professional athletes. Meh. I’d rather just sit back in the La-Z-Boy and ogle on this one. Enjoy.
Step one: knock boots with Tiger Woods. Step two: find other women to knock boots with Tiger Woods. Step three: Claim you know nothing about any of it. Step four: Porsche.
While the couple hundred other be-banging side ladies in the Woods’ closet toil about for bits and scraps of cheap reality show fame, one must applaud the hot body, tight asstastic, and swift-mind of Rachel Uchitel, the one who spit in the eye of fame but swallowed up a reported $10 million in cash money for keeping quiet in the early days of the Tiger Woods scandal. Could I make the sexy for $10M? Yes, I could. Could I keep quiet about it after? Nah, I’m a talker. So, I must get back to real work, while Rachel Uchitel continues shopping for cars, jewelry, and furs. Enjoy.
Photo credit: pacificcoastnewsonline.com
Well, if you were wondering what Tiger Woods ever saw in Rachel Uchitel, (an ogle that led to a touch that led to a snoggle that allegedly led to a $10 million hush payment), well, these Rachel Uchitel upskirt pictures, sans panties, outside Boa Steakouse over the weekend give you a little hint. I guess going commando is the new ‘eff-you-I’m-loaded-with-dough’ comment to the public from the paid off cheese, and, well, I think I’m a fan of that trend. Look, if you’re Macy’s or Nordstrom’s, you put the goods on display for the customers to gander, so it is at Uchitel’s. Enjoy.
Photo credit: pacificcoastnewsonline.com
I sort of promised myself I was never going to post any Tiger Woods mistress photos. Kind of tough given that the Tiger Woods mistress count was well over one-hundred demure ladies at last count. Still, Rachel Uchitel pretty much broke out of the pack given her ‘first other girl’ status, plus the fact that she’s able to well-up such real looking tears while cashing her mega-million hush-money checks, and, yeah, she’s got a pretty hard body. These Rachel Uchitel cameltoe pictures, with bonus butt-toe a.k.a butt-cleft a.k.a. ham slice pictures gives at least a glimpse into the lady parts that caused the world’s greatest golfer to exchange low scores for cheap scores. I still can’t understand why men cheat on their
hot Swedish model wives costing them $200 million. Enjoy.