Well, don’t you know, the fabulously wealthy Eccletstone sisters and I spend our summer yachting seasons together in Capri typically. At least, the F-1 racing heiresses were actually there yesterday boating in their bikinis whilst I was taking a bath in my luxurious walk-up (actually, the elevator’s just broke) with my model sailboat and my rubber ducky. Sort of the same. Only, the girls got much more attention for their efforts.
Tamara Ecclestone was just married to some guy who should do for a year or maybe two, and is looking every bit the newlywed happy busty girl in her bikini. While blonde sister Petra Ecclestone gave a rather secretive birth to her first kid back in February or March and seems to have recovered quite nicely in her rarely seen bikini pose these days.
While it would seem both sisters are somewhat spoken for these days, in the world of diamonds and yachts and bikini heiresses, expect circumstances on the ground to be somewhat fluid in the commitment department. I’m biding my time. Dusting off my captain’s hat and pipe, and preparing for my swoop into the life of luxury that is my destiny. Enjoy.
Say hello to four boobs and one bazillion dollars all packaged into a couple sleek jungly outfits and a night out at BOA.
The blonde heiresses seem to have taken an immediate liking to each other, with Billionaire Barbie being the elected representative of the United State in welcoming Petra Ecclestone to its friendly confines and the former Spelling Mansion in Los Angeles. To be fair, and perfectly male about this, both girls looked rather hot, flashing bodies hardly forged in steak houses, but benefitting from the good life of relaxation, shopping, and just the right amount of bulimia to fit into their haute couture. Of course, the girls also have the paparazzi smarts to keep their manfolk ten paces behind, with Petra’s new husband and raconteur somewhere in the way behind chatting with Paris’ perma-escort, Brandon ‘Greasy Bear’ Davis, grandson of oil-tycoon Marvin Davis and noteworthy nose candy handler.
All in all, just about the perfect pair of heiresses the social world could hope to find. I’d take either, under the Hefty plan, that is, at least two layers of protective ply. Enjoy.
P.S. For the record, and to relieve my guilt after Atonement has ended, as much as we bust on Billionaire Barbie for all her many faults, I actually don’t have the space on this blog to list them all, the girl does still dress up and deck out quite nicely and very eye catching, as the night before BOA when she hit an L.A. restaurant opening in this little black bandage number. Giving props where bodies are hot and due.
Q: What has four boobs, two empty stares, and a couple bazillion dollars in the bank?
Why, of course, it’s joint heiress party fun time with not one, but two scoops of blonde ditziness in the guise of Billionaire Barbie and Petra Ecclestone. Just imagine the BOA steakhouse dinner conversation that took place between these two Mensa sorority girls. Thankfully, we are grounded enough to realize that it’s okay to lust after a sexy celebrity who babbles incessantly about designer shoes and dinner party disasters, you know, provided they’re pretty hot and have a bank account that matches your own, but with a half-dozen more zeroes. Practicality in all measures for the Egotastic! man. Enjoy.
Just to recap the stories of the billion dollar Formula One heiresses:
There’s Tamara Ecclestone, the brunette ‘model’ with the ability to flash full boobtastic with nary a nipple in sight, her brand spanking new fiance, some dude with a yacht, recently bought her a sick limited edition Ferrari and had it delivered to her doorstep. Dick.
And, there’s Petra Ecclestone, the blonde, a former lingerie line purveyor turned real estate magnate, who just purchased the $100 million Spelling manion in Holmby Hills, got married in a castle in Rome last week to Sir Douche-A-Lot, who just bought Petra a new Rolls Royce so she wouldn’t feel slighted by her sister’s Ferrari. Dick.
The two heiress sisters brought their loaded pocketbooks and tagalong man-mates to Los Angeles this weekend to shop and party and drink and basically make the Hilton Sisters cower in the corner sucking slowly on anti-depressant candies. Oh, and when out and about enjoying the local beverages, the Ecclestone sisters did the privilege to their Yank ogling admirers of flashing their panties beneath the various super short dresses they sported all weekend long. Such is their graciousness that I suspect we will be seeing much more, much much more, of these two ladies in the near future. Enjoy.
Ruh-roh. A blonde heiress getting married requires Billionaire Barbie to investigate!
So, off to Rome goes Paris, to hit the Petra Ecclestone multi-million dollar wedding to some shlumph who agreed to a super-binding pre-nup written in blood; and quite a Tiberian shindig indeed. While blonde heiress Ecclestone could not commit the social faux pas of uninviting her American counterpart, you can bet there was some profound mind-games going on between these two brain-churning blondes.
(Meanwhile, from across the pond, Petra ordered workers at her newly purchased ‘most expensive home in the U.S.’ , a.k.a., The Spelling Mansion, to rip out everything in the bazillion room home that was ever picked out or decorated or installed by Candy Spelling. So, there is some reason to like this new bride, I mean, beside just being very rich and pretty hot.)
Well, we started with some Ecclestone richness reporting this morning, so this is a nice way to bookend — Petra Ecclestone, the blonde hottie heiress sister is getting hitched this weekend in Rome to her nightclub something-or-other boyfriend and, amid all the recent hullaballoo about the staged-for-television Kardashian wedding, this super rich sextastic nuptials kind of got lost. Apparently, Petra’s getting married in the same castle as Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes did (so, yes, they do gay weddings).
According to our friends at RadarOnline, Petra has some kind of pre-nup to end all pre-nups signed by her fiance, cause that’s what you do when you’re worth several hundred million dollars and you’re marrying some dude who spends his night out at the bars. Someday, I too hope to find a girl worth upwards of half a billion dollar to fall in love with, or, at least pretend really really hard. Enjoy.
What the heck, let’s double down with British babes a plenty in barely there bikinis. In this case, my new favorite heiresses, Petra Ecclestone (my fave) and her older sister Tamara Ecclestone, aboard some rich dude’s yacht in the South of France, but, of course. As you may know, in my next life I fully intend to come back as a rich dude with a yacht, an ascot, and some smashing blazers. But, for now, I shall relish in an ogle of the sweet bodies and bulging boobtastic of these far superior sisterly scions to the Hiltons of my Tinsel Town world. Enjoy.