UPDATED: For all of you who complained because I was drinking too much in my pre-World Series ritual and effed up the links, here’s the real links:
Check out the Penelope Cruz and Spanish Topless Hotties Video Playlist and 3-Days Free Trial membership in Mr. Skin.
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If you’ve known me for a week, let alone since the dawn of time, you know I love two things: my family and hot Iberian women. Even between those, there is one I can live without. Sorry, mom. But let’s be realistic. Penelope Cruz and Paz Vega and their sextastic peers, that beats your Thanksgiving turkey.
Our friends at Mr. Skin are celebrating lovely Latin ladies and their fondness for Egotastic! Readers by offering you this must watch Spanish hotties video playlist along with a 3-Day Free Trial Membership to Mr. Skin. I dig the good folks at Mr. Skin. They have a deep understanding of all the things we love. They’ve got celebrity flesh up the wazoo.
Check out the Latinas. Check out Mr. Skin. Find yourself 19% more happy than you were before. That’s an approximation, it could go as high as shit-eating grin status. Enjoy.
Penelope Cruz is another one of our brunette sultry Latina timeless beauties. She just seems to be getting hotter and hotter with each passing season. I suppose I could blame this on how relatively more desperate I’m becoming, but I’m pretty sure the rest of you agree with me as to Penelope’s veteran hot mommy status.
Featured flashing her deep sweet cleave in Esquire magazine, Penelope reminds us all that pretty much every running off to Spain and making love to a beautiful Iberian girl fantasy involves somebody who looks an awful lot like Penelope Cruz. And most likely Penelope’s ample bosom and fine female form. If you can’t feel her hair waving over you and she yells out the names of the saints in Spanish, you’re simply not fantasizing strongly enough. Enjoy.
So, let it begin. The 86th Academy Awards and procession of the sextastic.
We’ll keep updating this as the various lovely decked out ladies of Tinsel Town exit their limos and arrive on the red carpet. But you can’t be off to a better start than Ireland Baldwin and Maria Menounos.
Ah, Olivia Wilde, Emma Watson, Charlize Theron, Kristen Bell, Naomi Watts, Julia Roberts, Sandra Bullock, Kate Hudson, Penelope Cruz, Anna Kendrick, Amy Adams, Cate Blanchett, and many more.
In summary: there wasn’t much by the way of risque or cleavy or showy on the red carpet this year, but there’s no doubt there were a dozen or more ladies of the Silver Screen who looked absolutely stunning in their million dollar get-ups. It’s just like my prom night, except with hot girls who fit their dresses. Enjoy.
Whoa, baby, talk about your mommy mammary visuals, Penelope Cruz topless and flashing her fully loaded funbags bare to make the sun jealous of her global girth.
We’ve seen Penelope sans top before in the movies, she’s a European actress who’s not shy about her body, but seeing her in newly motherly mode with her chestal XXLs ready to feed a hungry nation, well, this is an entirely different matter. And, by ‘different’, I mean ever so much better.
Penelope Cruz, you have made my month with your sweet sweet end of summer melons. Muchas muchas gracias. Enjoy.
Check Out More Cruz Family Topless Goodness »
When Penelope Cruz asks you ‘Have you been bad?’ You. Say. Yes.
That’s really the only major insight I have about the new trailer from Ridley Scott and Cormac McCarthy‘s upcoming joint The Counselor. It looks seven to ten kinds of ridiculously badass and they should just take my dollars now.
Sure, it’s OK to be skeptical about the guy who made Kingdom of Heaven making a movie by the guy who wrote The Crossing. That’s fine. I can see that.
But, let’s look at it this way: the guy who made Gladiator and Alien has brought to life a story from the twisted mind of the guy who wrote No Country for Old Men. Sure, there are no aliens (wait, are there aliens?) super powers or comic book deep cuts, there’s just Penelope Cruz and Cameron Diaz going head to head (hopefully). And probably a warped villain of some kind who will chill the insides of our very souls.
That’s all we need from our movies, right?
The Counselor hadn’t been on our radar until we saw this trailer today. Seriously. And all it took was eight to ten nanoseconds of Cameron Diaz‘s sure-I’ve-still-got-an-amazing-ass ass crawling up the hood of a convertible.
It’s a movie that Ridley Scott made and that Cormac McCarthy wrote? Who would want to see a thing like that? Oh…wait. Every self-respecting dude with any taste in good movies. What the hell have we been paying attention to, if not this? Probably too many superheroes.
The Counselor answers the very pressing question, ‘How do you go about becoming a drug cartel lawyer?’ with Michael Fassbender in the lead role. Rounding out the cast of novelist McCarthy’s first spec script are Diaz, Javier Bardem, Penelope Cruz, and Game of Thrones stunner Natalie Dormer. Oh, and because he’s bound by law to be in everything now, Brad Pitt.
When Penelope Cruz asks you, ‘Have you been bad?’ You. Say. Yes.
Yep. It has been reported by sources, so you know it’s the absolute truth: Penelope Cruz will be the next Bond girl.
What does that even mean? You’re all, ‘But they don’t officially have a director yet!’ Yeah, even though everyone and their celebrity-focused grandma is sure that it will be Sam Mendes, nothing is official. So how is it that Cruz is even in the mix? Well, Yahoo News UK is reporting that the 40 year old actress is going over her Bond 24 papers right now. A ‘source’ ‘close to the production’ ‘said’:
The producers have tried to get Penelope before, but she has never been available because of other commitments. The discussions have been going on for some time and they are working out the contract details now.
If those sources are telling the truth, that would make Cruz the oldest Bond MILF ever. Given all we’ve (literally) seen of the Spanish actress, we have absolutely no problem with this, she is among the most MILFtastic of them all.