You know the very minute the guys invented the motion picture camera they were thinking only one thing. Let’s go find some hot chicks to film. And when they discovered that these hot women had a strong interesting in seeing themselves visually recorded, well, that’s when they knew they had created something genius. Our friends at Mr. Skin are merely the evolution of those early days in cinema, cutting off all the fat to get to get to the meat, the good stuff, the hot skin on film.
This week’s Mr. Skin Minute includes Natalie Portman not the least bit nekkid in Thor, but quite body and booty revealing in Hotel Chevalier, Amanda Seyfried topless as a porn star in Lovelace, now on Blu-Ray, and also out on hi-def home theater viewing, the entire collection of the TV Series Weeds, which among other wickedly hot topless moments has brought us numerous epic scenes of star Mary Louise Parker baring all her goodies in character. Quite the viewing. Enjoy.
(Do not hate yourself in the morning by neglecting to get your Ego-discounted membership to Mr. Skin.com)
Check Out the Uncensored Mr. Skin Minute Video »
Remember shoebox dioramas? The ones your 3rd grade teacher assigned you? The basic idea was that you’d take worn out old toys and cram them into a flimsy box with some hastily applied paint and decorations. Then you’d have to present it to people with the bare minimum of enthusiasm. Remember?
Yeah. Red 2 is the perfect cinematic rendition of that.
I sat earnestly through the beginning of this week’s press screening. I did my part with an open mind. Red wasn’t the worst movie I’d ever seen. Maybe they’d do something special in the sequel?
I took the whole thing with so much seriousness, I even shushed a pair of giggling girls behind me who were chatting through the pin-drop-quiet first act. ‘Look ladies, we’re in a movie theater, here. There’s a movie playing. Please be quiet,’ I said sternly. But by the time Mary-Louise Parker’s character, Mary-Louise Parker, told Catherine Zeta Jones’ character, Ms. Over-the-top Ambiguously-Ethnic Jones, to (and I’m quoting directly here) ‘Suck it,’ I was done. Just done. I don’t even remember how it ended.
That line right there was tacit permission for everyone everywhere to no longer give any number of flying shits about anything else that happened…in the theater or on the screen. Light a bonfire, sing a song, slap an old lady, even have a full blown conversation. If the filmmakers didn’t care, why should you?
There was, however, one and only one bright light in all of Red 2: John Horatio Malkovich. He should be sealed in Lucite and mounted on the US Capitol building, mostly so that he never does anything related to this franchise ever again. Ever. But not even his clever screwball antics could scrub the skidmarks out of this one. Were you really going to see it anyways?
Mary-Louise Parker has announced that she plans to quit acting because the world is full of a-holes. A-holes like you and me.
While promoting the high-art think-piece R.I.P.D. in Australia, the 48-year-old Weeds MILF spoke candidly of her future in the entertainment industry, and basically telling the world she’s done. Why? Well, she told some Fox affiliate:
The world has gotten too mean for me, it’s just too bitchy. All the websites and all the blogging and all the people giving their opinion and their hatred. It’s all so mean-spirited, it’s all so critical.
Uh, yeah. And what the hell would I do with my life if it wasn’t? Jeeze, MLP, won’t you think of the children? Or at least those of use who make our living thinking like them? She continued:
It’s a mean culture…It’s reality TV and it’s watching people suffer and watching people humiliate themselves. It’s little girls in pageants and housewives and plastic surgery and people in rehab. It just feels like a very ugly. It’s like someone just lifted up a rock and that’s all we’re looking at.
Again, duh. Look, we all can’t go on Tibetan throat-singing retreats and wear hand-made organic cotton sarongs while trying to drum the world a better place, now can we? No we can’t.
Personally, I’m a little saddened by this development. Ms. Parker is great to look at and she did wonders with Weeds. But, I’m not going to give up. I’m not going to just put down my keyboard because the woman whose recent choices of roles includes a movie about ghosts who hunt other ghosts (R.I.P.D.), an action movie about old people and its sequel (Red and Red 2: Geriatric Boogaloo) thinks we’re all being too mean. We’ve got to forge on.
Okay, so maybe it is back to 80 and sunny here on the Left Coast, but the fact remains, there’s no temperature for which some serious visuals of our very favorite veteran hotties on the little or big screen becomes less desirable. I mean, let’s be real, the chance of me seeing Emmy Awesome completely nekkid in person, well, maybe after I win the Lottery, twice, get struck by lightning, and survive, and the Chiefs win the Super Bowl. Yes, very long odds. But on film, well, anything is not only possible, it’s all available at your fingertips.
This week’s Mr. Skin Minute features the aforementioned Emmy Awesome, not nekkid in Beautiful Creatures out in theaters, but quite exhibitionist in several episodes of the amazing Shameless, Helen Hunt flashing her veteran worked out body, full body and bush, in The Sessions, out on Blu-Ray this week, and also out on disc, Season 8 of Weeds, featuring yet another epic full body flash from our belusted MILFy herb smoking hottie, Mary Louise Parker. Some of the titans of our fantasies past and present, all together herein, and wearing no clothes. Enjoy.
(Be sure to get your Ego-discounted Mr. Skin membership before you get stuck adrift on a Carnival Cruise Line ship with nothing to do but smear your waste along the Promenade deck.)
Check Out the Uncensored Mr. Skin Minute Video »
Still not sure what Feed the Dog is all about, but I can assure you, we are quite certain of our continuing fascination with Mary-Louise Parker. A sweet looking veteran actress not too scared to get nekkid on a show about weed? Yeah, that love affair is a no brainer for us.
On the set of her current film, Mary-Louise seems to be dressed as some kind of hooker bull-fighter chick with a neckline so plunging, it’s raising our bottomline as we speak. Mary-Louise Parker can do no wrong in our eyes, but she can do so much so very right. We’d love her to be our mom, especially when we get tummy-aches in the middle of the night and need a tender touch in our middling areas. Enjoy.
Well, it’s been a few seasons, but always worth the wait when Mary Louise Parker, the marijuana merching mom from Weeds gets herself into a bare-bodied scene. At 47, Mary Louise still has the MILFtastic body that we will more than gladly scope out as she swims nekkid through the pool. Oh, to be the pool sweep hose in that body of water (yes, I know, they don’t make pool sweeps anymore, though too late for the tens of millions of kids who still have nightmares from those lurking water skimming mofos).
Joining M.L.P. in this week’s best of the small screen boobtastic is an equally quite nekkid Jessica Clark who puts on the fake fangs and blood-thirsty topless effects for True Blood; with Anna Paquin pregnant, all the other hottie vampires have had to step up their game and Jessica Clark’s immortal funbags are up to the task. Take a peek. And, enjoy.
Check Out the Uncensored Boob Tube Roundup Video »
Well, today is the day. The day gangster rappers and diehard Phish-fans, NBA ballers and Olympic swimmers, and suburban moms and downtown hipsters unite around the wampum pipe. The day that 60′s-era Peaceniks hork the sticky stuff from their rebellious teenaged grandkids and politicians try to figure out whether lying or acting cool is the best way to frame their bong water indiscretions. A day when L.A. Confidential ain’t just a great movie and Purple Urkle has little to do with Family Matters. It’s 4/20, the annual day of unreckoning for all the stoners in Stonerville, Fah who for-aze! Arise tokers, faders, blazers, and, you know, their friends and family who work to support them.
So, while Gretchen griddles up the CHEETOS® pancakes for our non-identical twin stoner interns here, let’s gather round the San Rafael High School flagpole and kick off our celebration of all things trichromal with our very favorite Mary Louise Parker as the uniquely sexy Nancy Botwin moments from the ground breaking THC-TV show Weeds. Can you guess what they are?
Check Out the Videos »