Ginger topped glamour model Lucy Collett and I have had an ongoing affair of the heart for several years now. Naturally, she’s not quite as aware of this affair as I am, devoting many many hours to our relationship while Lucy mostly pretends to not know I exist or acknowledge my correspondence. I just assume this is how relationships mostly work.
But as long as our mutual or one-sided lust has lingered, every time I see Lucy in another sextastic boobtastic revealing pictorial, I fall into moist desire all over again. And, yes, for the record Moist Desire was the name of my band in high school. She’s just a curvaceous smiling faptastic wonder of bosomy perfect proportions. I want Lucy to pop out of every cake ever made. Even the little tiny ones at the grocery store. That would be something. Bless you once more, Lucy Collett. You have a higher calling. Enjoy.
(Be sure to visit Lucy’s Official Fanpage for all your ginger topped hottie needs.)
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There are two things you never want to stand in the way of. An out of control septic tank flushing truck and two hot ladies with stellar chesty treats determined to round off in the Battle of the Boobtastic. Though, really, if you had to choose only one, I’d choose getting in the mix of the boob battle.
This weeks two who dared to bare for the glory of Rome and Gentleman Oglers are Nicole Neal, a blonde hottie of extraordinary hot bodily talents and Lucy Collett, the ginger topped curvaceous dreamboat of my nightly REM sleep fantasies. I’d like both girls leave cracker crumbs in my bed. Hot sweet sextastic crumbs. But only one can strut away today wearing the virtual crown of champions. It’s up to you to make the Solomonesque decision, between these two perfect gals, whose ta-ta’s reign supreme?
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Okay, I know Lucy Collett isn’t a real redhead. But she seems pretty real all the way around elsewise and all of that elsewise is flashing before my eyes quite merrily whilst checking her stripping out of a black body suit for the general love of full, fluffy funbags. Lucy Collett doesn’t need to waste time with all the fancy photo setups, stagings, stylings, and themes. How about this for a motif? One cute and busty British redhead with bodacious boobtastic flashing her love guns for your viewing pleasure? Yes, I know, it sounded really good to me too.
On Tuesdays we like to celebrate the unleashed cans of our favorite sextastic celebrities. Lucy Collett isn’t for everyone. But she is for me. I say, the Good Lord gave you two hands for a reason. With Lucy, you could probably use four. But I hate to quibble. Enjoy.
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Each week I have the pleasure of dipping into the Reader Finds email bag with my prurient little paw and extracting a week’s worth of the best and most boobtastic of the content generated by you, the user, the reader, and all around scholar-athletes yet to be convicted for any type of human crime. It’s both a privilege and an honor to be on the receiving end of your rightfully dirty minds, without having to wear any type of protective shield or latex wrapping. It is, since 1911, a little something we like to call Reader Finds.
This week’s Reader Finds includes Lucy Collett showing how she does selfies (thank you to EgoReader ‘Green’), Ariana Grande booty on an Aussie TV show (kudos out to ‘Shannon’), Cali Lee, the adult film actress who messed around with Britney’s boyfriend doing some fine movie work (sweet contribution from ‘Devon’), Naomi Campbell topless in a Russian periodical (supermodel ta’s delivered by ‘Elliot’), Asia Argento topless on the silver screen (thank you kindly to ‘Maria’), Kate Luyben topless in the vastly underrated Femme Fatales (Skinematics via ‘Douglas’), Audrey Tautou topless in her own screen turn (French delights courtesy of ‘Mon’), Marion Cotillard most definitely topless (luscious lovelies by way of ‘Francia’), Juliana Scalch topless hotness in foreign cinema (windmilled over the fence by ‘Len’), Pamela Anderson nekkid at Hugh Hefner’s birthday party (the ta’s jumped out of the cake thanks to ‘Emory’), Rachel Mortenson wicked hot modeling pics (ooh la la’s from ‘Steven’), Olivia Cooke topless on celluloid (slipped under the door by ‘Sweetz’), Juliette Lewis topless in Strange Days (indeedy do’s handed over by ‘Brad’), Kate Upton and Emily Ratajkowski and SI buddies in bikinis (bathing suit beauties previewed by ‘Keller’), Hayden Panettiere in one damn sextastic shoot (H.P’s thanks to ‘William’), Elisa Dushku sweet in a bikini (underrated hotness via ‘Tony’), Cameron Diaz topless moment from Sex Tape (rare nip sighting captured by ‘Donnie’), and last, but not at all least, Sharon Stone flashing her bigguns in FI2. It’s all good and skintastic. If only you believe. Enjoy.
You know my udder fondness for Rosie Jones, a glamorous revealer of her faptastic funbags since the day she turned eighteen. But you also know my allure for the ginger topped fuller bodied Lucy Collett who reminds us all that soft and curvy is so very much sextastic. It’s like having to decide between two big football games on at the same time, or, the worst, glazed or chocolate at Dunkin in the morning. I just can’t make such monumental choices.
As always, the Battle of the Boobtastic relies on you, the fine gourmands of the mammary glands, to separate the tops from the even better tops. The luscious from the delicious. The squeezable from the huggable. The lovelier of the two ladies profoundly moving boobtastic. I do not envy your work. But work you must. Between Rosie and Lucy, whose ta-ta’s reign supreme?
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Lucy Collett just seems like she’d be a fun gal to have on a summer road trip. Especially when I announced the topless only rules for my car. I bet she wouldn’t balk at that rule. Or the one where we take turns sitting on the driver’s lap and she’s the only passenger. Your turn again, Lucy. Beg my ungentlemanly thoughts, but Lucy and her ginger topped sweet topless body tends to make prurient thoughts race through my head like greyhounds chasing a rabbit. Only, I don’t want to eat the rabbit, I want to rub it all over with hot baby oil then tickle it with feathers. I don’t know, maybe the greyhounds really want to do that too. I can’t read dog minds.
Lucy, you are my sweet teated treat. I have been fond of you through think and skin. I think that’s how the expression goes. Someday, we shall be together and the sounds of our merry giggles shall be matched only by the primal screams of our passions. And that’s just the first date. Call me, let’s make this happen. My iPhone informs me my calendar is open until as far as the calendar goes. Enjoy.
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With so much upheaval in the world, I do hope people will once again look at my forward thinking plan to settle all future disputes by contest of hot girls with outrageously plump funbags. I know there’s some thrill in full scale bloodletting, but I really do believe sweater puppies properly unleashed can save this world of the need for such primitive forms of conflict resolution. Think of it as pacifism with a twist of crazy fine melons.
This week’s non-violent Battle of the Boobtastic pits blonde bodacious battler Lissy Cunningham against my ginger lovely Lucy Collett. I could never possibly play favorites among two girls to whom I’d give my entire world for just one appropriately placed kiss. However, you must play favorites. It’s your sacred duty. In your veteran ogling opinion, whose ta-ta’s reign supreme?
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