Katy Perry

Katy Perry and I Wish You a Happy, Grateful Memorial Day

It's days like today I like to think about how fortunate we are to live in a land where we have the freedom to ogle girls like Katy Cocktease in a tight sweater and openly beg for her to show us her sweet yams. As stupid as that sounds, it's one of a thousand freedoms earned through brave men and women serving their nation and even paying the ultimate sacrifice which we honor on this particular day. There are many nations in this world where you'd be stone cold blocked from ogling Katy and I'd likely be the prettiest man in a political prison. At least, when I put on a little blush.

Today is the official start of summer and BBQ season and bikini season and hot girls in hardly any clothes. My favorite time of the year. But let us never forget that the road to happy times such as these are paved by the courage of defenders of the realm. There is much darkness in the world, much ignorance and repression. We can decry it from behind our computer screens, but somebody has to be out there in the cold night keeping the darkness at bay. A profound thank you to those who do. Now, Katy Cocktease, about those sweater puppies....Enjoy.

Photo credit: Lauren Dukoff

Katy Perry Deep Cleavage S&M Abuse of Madonna in Latex? Yep

Make what you will of this new spread in V magazine. Personally I'm going to print it out and make a cool sailor hat out of it, then everybody will ask me why I'm wearing a hat of Katy Perry as a cleavetastic dominatrix tugging Madonna in latex by hair and rope. I will not have a good answer.

However, this is one of those must see-spreads. I suggest you must see the full set of Katy Cocktease and Madonna being super S&M like on WWTDD. I guarantee these are images you will not soon if ever forget. Enjoy.

Katy Perry Gets Down and Dirty Back in Concert in Ireland

I'm not sure how long Katy Cocktease has been on concert hiatus. It seems like it's been at least a couple boyfriends or a marriage ago really. It's been a while. But, you can't keep a good girl down, so Katy got decked out in her silly showy costumes and got up and down and down and up on stage in Belfast in her new concert tour.

It's kind of like her old concert tour in so much as Katy prances about showing off her cleave and legs and various other jiggly parts, but different in so much as it's brand new different same sounding pop songs. Okay, so it's mostly the same as last time, but with Katy Cocktease, we're still bound to ogle. Enjoy.

Katy Perry Looking Mighty Fine Down Under

Katy Cocktease might give us a pain in the blue regions, but there's really no denying her power stems from looking sextastic and hot in the first place. Katy put her legs and other body goodness on display Down Under over the weekend for a celebration of something to do with art and museums and a bunch of other things I care less about than merely ogling Katy.

For all of Katy's faults and annoying personal relationship habits, I'd still shank any one of you in the prison showers for a chance to spend ten minutes along in isolation with Katy. I'd concede two minutes for her to chatter a bit and make some silly remarks that I would pretend to laugh at, then remind her we had eight minutes left and ask her if she could breathe through her nose. I'm considerate like that. Katy, let's roleplay this, I'm so ready. Enjoy.

Katy Perry Leggy Luscious Cleopatra Performance at the BRIT Awards

I'm not exactly sure who Katy Cocktease is supposed to be. I'm going with Cleopatra or somebody Egyptian. I suppose it ties in with one of her little pop ditties or something or maybe I'm missing out on a new wave of scarab inspired fashion. Nevertheless, I was mostly checking out her legs. Yes, Katy can cocktease even with her special gams, not quite as exceptional perhaps as her bodacious bosom but nevertheless, the worked out stems of a woman who prances the stage for a living.

Someday, when Katy reveals herself in her entirety, as I have  foreseen in visions, maybe you'd call them masturbation fantasies, we shall see the entire package and her nickname will change. Until that time, it's all about trying to peek up her skirt at awards show acts. Hey, it's an honest living. Enjoy.

Katy Perry and Emma Watson Highlight the Hotness at the Elle Style Awards

First off, if I didn't win an Elle style award yet again this year, I'm going to be pissed. I think it really is meant mostly for famous women who get all decked out for the big event in London, but I like to think my own cutting edge sense of style transcends the minor qualification elements. Not many men can pull of Crocs as dress shoes. Just saying, Elle, how about a little polite nod and a trophy for my faux L.A. fireplace mantle?

While I await my own accolades, hotties such as Katy Cocktease and Emma Watson arrived at the event to receive tons of fawning and devotion for their own sense of fashion and style. I guess because I mostly imagine both of them being nekkid almost all of the time I never really put them together with fashion award worthy grooming, but I suppose that makes sense too. Let's all go back to my hotel room at The Savoy and celebrate with champagne and silk restraints. Enjoy.

Katy Perry’s Buttcrack Is Giving Me the Good Willies

We may live to be two hundred and never see Katy Cocktease sharing a clean view of her sweet bodacious peaches, but we can today say we've seen her panties-lines beneath her sweat pants. Hey, take what you can get during a time of visual drought. And I'll take Katy's seat meat and that blessed crack that signals the great divide of my fantastical desires. Sweat pants are the modest girls stretch pants, but still a wonder at times.

Kiss me, Katy, I'm staring at your butt.