Katy Perry

Katy Perry Jumps Rope and Lights Up With Electronics and Sparkly Good Looks Down Under

Katy Cocktease may be a, well, cocktease, but she most definitely knows how to put on a show. When I survey the tween girls who comprise the largest segment of her audience, they all say she’s the number one live performer. There’s something to be said for musical artists who give you your money’s worth in concert, even if you don’t appreciate their pop ditties as much as a seventh grade girl might. Having said that, I think we all must also agree that it’s high time Katy flash those million dollar yams for us adult oglers in her fan base.

Katy had quite the showing and screaming fans down under over the weekend in Melbourne where she’s doing her electric Cocktease thing on stage with an illuminating costume that I’m sure isn’t meant to light the path to her lady goodies, though that’s exactly how a naughty boy like myself sees it. Horny truly is in the eye of the beholder. Katy, you’re a doll. It’s time to see what’s under the costumes. I promise not to share the views with anymore than a a couple dozen million people waiting desperately to see the same. Enjoy.

Katy Perry Cleavage and Kiddy Cosplay Show Merge in Winnipeg

As always, Katy Cocktease uneasily merged her tremendous cleavage and curvy diva body show with a weirdly childish cosplay theme for her show in Winnipeg that leaves me forced to wait until after the concert to yell out, c’mon, Katy, show us those honkers!

The more I see Katy, the more confused I become. Not about my desire to see the ultimate career making cocktease show off her spectacularly robust rack, but for the nature of her audience, which I presume to be young girls who probably don’t spend forty minutes each day lighting candles in hopes of seeing her yams. Let’s just  call the Katy Perry fan base a solid blend of demographics and wishes. Though, our wish is obviously more important. C’mon, Katy. Soon it will be past time. Let’s do this in your prime. Enjoy.

Katy Perry Leggy Long and Lovely in Cosmo, The Full Set

We saw a few of these Katy Cocktease leggy divine shots from Cosmo last month, but you really must feast your peeps upon the full set to fulfill your Katy needs for the week. While we often rightfully chide Katy for her cockteasy ways, there’s no denying she continues to be one of the top ranked celebrities men most want to see laying next to them the next morning. And, those sweet succulent funbags yet to be exposed, somebody badly wants to write home about those.

Katy does help to prove that you don’t have to take your clothes off to make ten million man badly want you. Although, I hate that that proof even exists. Katy, it’s well past time. Show us your ta-ta’s and free us from this limbo of wanton impatience. Pretty please with a nipple on top. Enjoy.

Katy Perry Crotch and Leg Performance Upskirt at The Garden

Well, Katy Cocktease is on another leg of yet another world tour so why not show off some of her lower half goodness to compliment the busty top half she taunts us with month in and month out. She really does have some nice legs, and her upskirt squat thrusts were a nice addition to, naturally, he amazing musical repertoire of tunes for teens.

For years now I’ve been begging Katy to show us her bare funbags. I can’t help but feel I’m not making tremendous progress. But as with any war, persistence, patience, and a healthy supply of foot powder often eventually wins the day. Katy, I will wait for you. And I will leer at your thighs and undercarriage. But my frustration does continue to mount. I hope you can find it in your heart to some day, some how, show us those faptastic yams of yours. Think of it as charity. I’m good with that. Enjoy.

Katy Perry Double Dip of Cockteasery in Cosmo To Kick Off the Week Right

I remember back in second grade a group of us boys were chasing around this girl playing tag and generally making her playground life miserable. We were all stopped by the school principal and his obligatory mustache who gave us a whooping and tried to cheer up the poor girl by informing her that the reason we were chasing her around was because the boys thought she was pretty. That’s when it struck me that Dr. Dingleberry, as we called, not his given Christianname, was actually right. Boys always picked on the girls they liked. I mean, it started with schoolyard pestering and obnoxious chasing and then several years later back of the car pestering and obnoxious chasing. That part never changed.

My point — for all my ribbing of Katy Cocktease, I only do it because I really really like her. She’s pretty. I want to ever so badly play tag on the schoolyard with her. Featured here in a couple more shots from her new Cosmo magazine spread, Katy is clearly one of those girls where somebody might ask you what you thought of her new green hair and you’d probably just say something innocuous because you never really looked at her hair. Katy, please, for the love of funbags, fully unleash your blessings. In the meantime, just continue being super hot. It’s not enough, but it’s definitely a thing. Welcome to the new week. Enjoy.

Katy Perry and Rita Ora Hot Hottie Body on Stage in Scotland

Aye, a wee bit of the hot birds on stage at Radio 1′s concert in the Highlands this weekend. There were a bunch of acts, but Katy Cocktease in her ancient Egyptian themed tight dress and Rita Ora in her booty hugging body suit and some unusual looking dreads certainly stood out for me.

I can’t say I’m particular fond of either young pop diva musically speaking, but pretty much obsessed in every other way and I could easily fake the musical interest part should I ever get a chance to help these girls change costumes backstage. That and a Ora-Swift-Perry sandwich are my two simultaneously occurring dreams at the moment. I wish you could see inside my brain, it’s like a quilt of really vibrant and not-for-kids images. I’ll be sure to donate it to some tawdry sex museum after my demise. Enjoy.

Katy Perry and I Wish You a Happy, Grateful Memorial Day

It’s days like today I like to think about how fortunate we are to live in a land where we have the freedom to ogle girls like Katy Cocktease in a tight sweater and openly beg for her to show us her sweet yams. As stupid as that sounds, it’s one of a thousand freedoms earned through brave men and women serving their nation and even paying the ultimate sacrifice which we honor on this particular day. There are many nations in this world where you’d be stone cold blocked from ogling Katy and I’d likely be the prettiest man in a political prison. At least, when I put on a little blush.

Today is the official start of summer and BBQ season and bikini season and hot girls in hardly any clothes. My favorite time of the year. But let us never forget that the road to happy times such as these are paved by the courage of defenders of the realm. There is much darkness in the world, much ignorance and repression. We can decry it from behind our computer screens, but somebody has to be out there in the cold night keeping the darkness at bay. A profound thank you to those who do. Now, Katy Cocktease, about those sweater puppies….Enjoy.

Photo credit: Lauren Dukoff