Katie Holmes

Katie Holmes Sideboob, Jessica Alba Cleave, and Miley Cyrus’ Annie Lennox Look Highlight the 2013 Met Gala

By Bill Swift | May 7, 2013 @ 9:47 am

Anne Hathaway, Miley Cyrus, Taylor Swift, and More at 2013 Met Gala

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Nice to see my girl Katie Holmes back in the mix, flashing some skin by way of sideboob at the fancy pants 2013 Met Gala last night in New York. The Met Gala is one of the biggest highfalutin celebrity events of the year, with a ton of A-listers showing up in their designer gowns for the Big Apples biggest red carpet.

Besides Katie we couldn't help but notice Miley Cyrus calling upon an 80's Euro-pop vibe, Anne Hathaway, Jessica Alba showing some cleave, Kate Beckinsale, Taylor Swift, and a bunch of other top tier celebs showing off their finest. It's kind of like the very first sequence in a recurring R.E.M. sleep fantasy of mine, the one right before the the robbers break in and force all the girls to hand over their fancy frocks. I could tell you what happens next, but this is a family site. Enjoy.

Shuddup, I Still Love Katie Holmes

By Bill Swift | March 26, 2013 @ 11:38 am

Katie Holmes Looks Hot in Allure Magazine April 2013

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I take a lot of flack for my ongoing lust of Dawson's Creek alum, Katie Holmes, but I can't shake it. I don't want to shake it. I stood with Katie through her trying to be a real actress years after Dawson's, her odd marriage to Xenu's most sensitive disciple, and all the weird dowdy dress down mom times of late, and, on occasion, I am rewarded with looks of Katie hotness as in this Allure magazine pictorial for April 2013.

Yeah, Katie never was a sexpot. She was a cutie with some great potential. And as much as she or others have tried to hide that burgeoning sextastic, we know well here it's like the Transformers AllSpark. It can only stay hidden for so long before somebody with a hard-on for it comes looking. I am that somebody with a hard-on, figuratively speaking. Enjoy.

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I Will Never Give Up on Katie Holmes (or Her Cleavy Hotness Outside The Letterman Show)

By Bill Swift | December 21, 2012 @ 8:17 am

Katie Holmes Looks Hot in Pink on Dave Letterman in NYC

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Katie Holmes Topless

We never grow tired of seeing Katie's bare bazoongas. 8 Photos »

I know Katie Holmes kind of nose-dove her own girl next door sextastic into the ground when she took on the Tom Cruise wife number four or five duties and got Trapped in the Closet with Tom and baby and whatnot, but she'll always be Joey from Dawson's Creek to me, and she'll always be right up there in the upper echelon of naughty bedroom window climbing fantasies. And, on occasion still, like last night outside The David Letterman Show, in her hot pink dress, she'll climb right back up into the naughty parts of the mind, encouraging the whole cycle all over again.

Hey, she survived a Tom Cruise marriage, not so easy to do and still come out on top. And on top of Katie is where... well, you know. Enjoy.

Katie Holmes Hot Shot in August Elle a Sign of Very Good Things to Come

By Bill Swift | July 9, 2012 @ 12:52 am

Katie Holmes Hot and Rebounding in August Elle

Free at last, free at last.

Katie Holmes has already been spotted around New York City the past few days in fitted jeans of all things, mom jeans back into the closet with the Eye of Xenu safely blocked for the moment by her attorneys. We may not know math or science of even our native language of English very good here (or is that very well?), but we do know sextastic celebrities and we know celebrity divorces. And we right now are predicting a Katie Holmes nekkd-in-movie scene with the next 12 months.

Bank on it. Or, you know, whatever you want to do on it. Enjoy.

KATIE HAD HER MOMENTS WITH TOM, BUT NOW THE GLOVES ARE COMING OFF

Katie Holmes Goes for a Night Out in a Blue See-Through Top

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Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes Divorcing! Time For Daddy Egotastic! To Step In

By Bill Swift | June 29, 2012 @ 10:29 am

Katie Holmes Topless

Katie flashed her fabulous funbags in The Gift. What a gift! 8 Photos »

Look, I'm not saying this isn't tragic. Heck, if a younger woman can't have a happy marriage with a famous gay twice divorced Scientologist movie star, what are the chances for any of us to find matrimonial bliss?

We've been wondering of late why Tom Cruise took his submarine to Iceland for an extended June vacation about a week ago, and now we know why. While we're sad for Katie Holmes and the button of a cute girl that millions of judgmental women can't stop examining like a science experiment, Suri Cruise, when a door closes, another door opens up. And for my still belusted Katie Holmes and a chance to get her out of those Xenu-issue mom jeans and back into something trim and sextastic, well, I'm walking right in.

For breaking news on the Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes divorce, visit our friends at TMZ.

AS CLEAVY AS KATIE COULD EVER GET UNDER TOM'S THUMB

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Katie Holmes Hotness Will Jingle Your Family Jewels

By Bill Swift | January 11, 2012 @ 9:34 am

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Topless Katie Holmes

Oh, How We Love These Special Katie Holmes Moments 8 Photos »

Oh, Katie, how your minders are going to freak out over this.

Katie Holmes went off the hotness charts for of all reasons, a jewelry company advertisements, showing more of her innate sextastic appeal than we've seen in quite some time, causing Tom Cruise to divert his submarine from beneath the Antarctic Ocean where he's researching alien splash landings and return to home base to try and seal off his wife's sexuality before it gets too far.

I don't care what anybody else says about Katie Holmes (okay, I care a little), this woman has got the power of female allure still buried deep inside of her, past the point where Xenu can see, and, every now and then, we still get to see it shine, and it's spectacular. Enjoy.