Free at last, free at last.
Katie Holmes has already been spotted around New York City the past few days in fitted jeans of all things, mom jeans back into the closet with the Eye of Xenu safely blocked for the moment by her attorneys. We may not know math or science of even our native language of English very good here (or is that very well?), but we do know sextastic celebrities and we know celebrity divorces. And we right now are predicting a Katie Holmes nekkd-in-movie scene with the next 12 months.
Bank on it. Or, you know, whatever you want to do on it. Enjoy.
Look, I’m not saying this isn’t tragic. Heck, if a younger woman can’t have a happy marriage with a famous gay twice divorced Scientologist movie star, what are the chances for any of us to find matrimonial bliss?
We’ve been wondering of late why Tom Cruise took his submarine to Iceland for an extended June vacation about a week ago, and now we know why. While we’re sad for Katie Holmes and the button of a cute girl that millions of judgmental women can’t stop examining like a science experiment, Suri Cruise, when a door closes, another door opens up. And for my still belusted Katie Holmes and a chance to get her out of those Xenu-issue mom jeans and back into something trim and sextastic, well, I’m walking right in.
For breaking news on the Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes divorce, visit our friends at TMZ.
Oh, Katie, how your minders are going to freak out over this.
Katie Holmes went off the hotness charts for of all reasons, a jewelry company advertisements, showing more of her innate sextastic appeal than we’ve seen in quite some time, causing Tom Cruise to divert his submarine from beneath the Antarctic Ocean where he’s researching alien splash landings and return to home base to try and seal off his wife’s sexuality before it gets too far.
I don’t care what anybody else says about Katie Holmes (okay, I care a little), this woman has got the power of female allure still buried deep inside of her, past the point where Xenu can see, and, every now and then, we still get to see it shine, and it’s spectacular. Enjoy.
– Bachelorette, Emily Maynard, might be worth fake proposing to. (HuffPo)
- Rooney Mara gets her nipples pierced. (FoxNews)
- Katie Holmes at the Mission Impossible 4 premiere. (TheSuperficial)
- Paula Patton looked good at the premiere too. (Celebuzz)
- Santa over-delivered this year. (TheChive)
- Eva Mendes waking up Christmas morning. (GossipCop)
- Ashley Tisdale and Vanessa Hudgens go to market. (GossipCenter)
I can’t say I’m really looking forward to Adam Sandler’s next bit of ‘didn’t seem to try to hard’ to make a film Jack and Jill, which looks like a really bad movie that might have only been sort of kind of bad twenty years ago when having the split screen of one dude playing himself and a twin was kind of novel in itself. One positive thing to come out of a comedy film opening — the premiere, where everybody is in smiles, including Katie Holmes with whom I am still madly passionately in lust, having wanted to biologically flood her creek since the Dawson days, and now that she’s been put behind the Xenu-patterned walls, for some reason find her even more attractive, like a Stepford-hottie in need of some de-programming, man-style.
Perhaps I’m projecting, but Katie in a flashy (for her) top and a seductive little smile, it’s enough to get me wanting to see more Holmes. Enjoy.