Jessica Simpson

Miley Cyrus Underboob, Cindy Crawford in a Bikini, Aubrey O’Day Chesty Goodness Highlight the Sextastic Twitpic Roundup


Iggy Azalea quit social media today. I’d say it will have some impact if she wasn’t immediately replaced by ten other sextastic celebrities ready to take her digital media space. It’s a jungle out there. Nobody is backing off the social media train if they want to keep growing their following, and there’s still no way better to grow anything than by posting wicked hot selfies and candids of yourself. That remains a plain fact. Thankfully so.

This week’s Sextastic Twitpic Roundup includes Miley Cyrus showing off her underboob, Cindy Crawford wicked hot in a bikini, Aubrey O’Day covered topless barely for Valentine’s, Izabel Goulart showing off her crazy taut yoga body, Paris Hilton showing off what just have to be some new sloops, and much much more. You owe it to your failed efforts on the 14th because you didn’t listen to your Uncle Bill to check out each and every one of these crazy alluring self-published candids. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Instagram/Twitter

Fifty Shades Of Jessica Simpson And Other Fine Things To Ogle

Screen Shot 2015-02-16 at 4.15.14 PM

Jessica Simpson reenacts Fifty Shades of Grey because why the hell not? (Huffington Post)

Everyone likes some thigh gap, especially when it looks like this. (The Chive)

Erin McNaught‘s post-pregnancy bikini body is incredible. (WWTDD)

Paris Hilton says her boobs are not enhanced. I don’t care as long as they look like this. (TMZ)

Sexy Natalie Portman uses her hottness to sell perfume. (Drunken Stepfather)

Emily Ratajkowsi shows off her legs and bare midriff and it is good. (Hollywood Tuna)

Selena Gomez‘s cleavage is a wondrous thing. (Popoholic)

Jessica Simpson Is Seriously Leggy And Other Fine Things To Ogle

Jessica Simpson was looking all kinds of leggy and busty in a gold dress. (Hollywood Tuna)

Behold Laura Cremeschi in a tiny bikini! (TMZ)

Katy Perry makes my crotch soar in this seagull bikini. (Huffington Post)

Nicki Minaj shows off her big ol funbags on the set of her new video. (Drunken Stepfather)

Nicole Scherzinger has some killer curves, y’all. (Popoholic)

Say what you want, but Tila Tequila covered topless and preggers is still hot. (The Superficial)

Jacklyn Adalene is a sportscaster. She’s also REALLY hot. (Busted Coverage)

Jessica Simpson Big Mama Boobtastic Out for Pimping Her Scent

Jessica Simpson does not hold back when it comes to working the consumer side of her merchandise empire. No holds barred. Or funbags. The mom and recent wife and queen of all things licensed on the Target shelves has a new perfume out with some name that surely sounds powerful yet feminine, tough yet soft. Something like that. What is mostly definitely powerful yet feminine are Jessica’s major league honkers on display in her advertisement for the on-sale scent. Holy big honkers. Those are some pimping hard giant sized peaches.

There’s no point in questioning Jessica Simpson’s business choices. She’s proven herself to have a nose, and chest, for this type of work. If she believes flashing her mega cans is going to help her sell her fragrance, I am certainly not going to ask her to cover up. I wouldn’t ask her that under any circumstance. Enjoy.

Jessica Simpson Looking Mighty Fine in Her Short Shorts With Her Booty Peeking

We may never get fully back to Daisy Duke in her Daisy Dukes, but Jessica Simpson deserves a solid round of applause for moving from, um, larger new mommy, to MILFtastic hottie in short shorts cruising the airport and flashing some cheeks. Everybody knows the effort she put into it, now, we also get to revel in the visual results.

Jessica Simpson was a once and perhaps now against sextastic celebrity mainstay. Now that she’s forgotten that silly music career and a few too many burgers, we can get back to exulting the hotness that is Jessica Simpson. After all, there is a a reason we all fell in lust with Jessica in the first place. It was not her guitar solos, speaking for myself. Enjoy.

Jessica Simpson, A Little Hammered, A Whole Lotta Cleavetastic Hot

The once and former Jessica Simpson is back again, mommy hot and back in streamline condition thanks to her Weight Watchers commitment. So why not strap on a booby-revealing dress and hit the town for a couple neat and chasers until you love everyone around you. Now that really is the old Jessica Simpson.

Back in the day Jessica was the girl so many young men looked up to to help them become men. She may not have even known it was going on so prevalently, though I suspect she did. C’mon, it wasn’t the amazing singing talents that made Jessica the apple of our eyes. It was her apples themselves. And she sure looked great polishing them up and putting them back out on display for an evening party run. Welcome back, Jessica. We have so missed you. Enjoy.

Freida Pinto, Jessica Simpson, Olivia Munn, and Sofia Vergara Highlight the Hotness at the White House Correspondents Dinner

The White House Correspondents Dinner is a big annual affair where Hollywood hotties and paid comedy writers descend upon D.C. like a traveling circus to make White House politics seem the list bit entertaining. For most of us, politics and bickering and posturing and lying is a petty, boring affair. But you start adding the likes of Jessica Simpson, Olivia Munn, Sofia Vergara, and Freida Pinto to the mix, suddenly you have a leer-worthy bit of Washington grandstanding. My, but the ladies do look nice, especially set against the nation’s capital, a town not known for skin, though plenty of underground sin to say the least.

The Correspondents Dinner just goes to show that girls make the party. You invite a couple dozen great looking ladies decked out in their fineries to any gathering and it’s an instantly successful social affair. C-SPAN, snoozer. C-SPAN with Sofia Vergara’s curvy hot body, much less boring. Enjoy.