Jessica Simpson

Sara Jean Underwood Bare Booty, Emmy Rossum Bikini, and Elizabeth Gillies Sucking a Popsicle Head Up Our Sextastic Twitpic Round

It just keeps getting better and better. Like an old box of Oreos or sex with hairy women, the more we dig, the more we're finding ogle-worthy gems of the self-published sextastic from our very favorite celebrities, who just can not stop taking pictures of them hotselves to share with the rest of the world. Thankfully so.

This week's Sextastic Twitpic Roundup includes our be-lusted Emmy Awesome in a bikini, Sara Jean Underwood flashing her sexy cans, Kendall Jenner bikini moments, Lucy Pinder barely covering herself, Elizabeth Gillies giving us naughty thoughts, Jessica Simpson cleavage, and just a ton more must-see private time photos from your ogle-worthy celebs. Check them out. And, enjoy.

Egotastic! Breaks Promise to Never Compare Any Fat Celebrity to an Ewok

When I got into this business, I made myself two promises. First, I wasn't ever going back to jail for stealing women's panties from a display window at a surprisingly well monitored boutique, guys in for panties theft just don't do well after lockdown, and, second, I'd never ever compare a fat celebrity to an Ewok. Not that I haven't had the inkling to do both over the years, but I've managed to keep my bond with the man in the mirror.

Now, I'm afraid I've been forced to back pedal from that sacred vow, courtesy of the ginormous Jessica Simpson, who is no longer simply measured in inches or feet, but in terms of how many 1970's era cookie cutter municipal baseball stadiums she comprises. Currently, we're at Riverfront plus Busch Memorial plus half of Milwaukee County Stadium in terms of girth. Let's just agree that she's become a rather large lady.

Anybody within the Sherman Oaks area of Los Angeles of late has spotted the behemoth trolling the various dining facilities along Ventura Boulevard in search of continuous sustenance for what must surely be 12-17 fully-formed fetuses about to be birthed through her dilated mucket.

Over the weekend, Jessica endured the pouring rain to grab BBQ from Boneyard Bistro. Mmm, ribs.

Simple message of caution: do not get between this Ewok and her BBQ, because forty lbs. of nourishment is going down mamas gullet one way or another and you'll be wanting to keep your legs.

Jessica Simpson Preggo Covered Topless in Elle

File this under the category of you didn't ask for this, but you're going to get it anyhow, as supesized Jessica Simpson makes her covered-nekkid debut in Elle magazine. While the extensive air brushing of dark room folks at the magazine have helped hide the fact that Jessica is clearly about to deliver somewhere between 9 and 12 fully grown members of the species through her reproductive canals, we here at Egotastic! who have been tracking Jessica's growth chart of late know full well that she now singlehandedly blows past the maximum load limit of all but the most industrial of building elevators.

That all being said, let's not overlook the majesty of child birth, the miracle of pregnancy, and the mammoth mammaries Jessica is barely covering in these showy, but sweet photos taken with her boyfriend or fiancee, but I don't think husband really, former short-lived NFL tight end, Eric Johnson. Enjoy.

Kristen Stewart is Rich and Other Things to Ogle

Kristen vs. Anne
Who makes brings in more cash? Read More »
Hot as Elle
Katherine Heigl new photoshoot. Read More »
Celebs in Bikinis
Who has the best beach body? Read More »

- Courteney Cox and other celebs in bikinis. (HuffPo)

- Is Veena Malik naked or not? (FoxNews)

- Kristen Stewart vs. Anne Hathaway: who bangs better for a buck? (FoxNews)

- Katherine Heigl is heating things up in Elle. (GossipCenter)

- How big are Jessica Simpson boobs going to get? (TMZ)

- JWoww brings more of The Shore. (GossipCop)

- Diana Falzone finds out if weed makes you horny. (Maxim)

Jessica Simpson Pregnancy Boobs and Other Things to Ogle

Unbelievable Udders
Jessica Simpsons Boobs Growing by the Day Read More »
Hickey Situation
Blake Lively Has a Love Mark on Her Neck Read More »
Brazil Bash
Gisele Bundchen Partying in Sao Paulo Read More »

- Happy birthday, Britney Spears. (HuffPo)

- Courtney Stodden has the holiday spirit. (FoxNews)

- Gisele Bundchen parties in Brazil. (GossipCenter)

- Blake Lively got a hickey? (TheSuperficial)

- Christie Brinkley is in trouble. (TMZ)

- Jessica Simpson pregnancy boobs are ridiculous. (DrunkenStepfather)

- Ashley Greene, sexy in NYC. (LaineyGossip)

Weekend Links

Miranda Kerr sexy cover photo. (GossipCenter)

Lindsay Lohan future prisonmates are chomping at the bit. (SocialiteLife)

Is there a bun in the Jessica Simpson oven? (HuffPo)

Did Ashton Kutcher knock up January Jones? (FoxNews)

Brown eyed girls. (TheChive)

Bridget Marquardt complete costume collection. (TheSuperficial)

Have an asstastic birthday, Kim Kardashian. (theFABlife)

Selena Gomez new video. (Idolator)

Jessica Simpson Is Pregnant, Which Can Only Mean More Cleavage to Come

Check out the full set of pictures of Jessica Simpson cleavetastic leanings during her Macy's book signing at Celebuzz.com.