Elsa Hosk wears see-through lingerie for Victoria’s Secret. (Drunken Stepfather)
Relive your 90′s private schoolgirl fantasies with these pics of hot chicks in thigh high socks. (The Chive)
Elle Evans is an expert at turning me on via Instagram. (TMZ)
Cameron Diaz is wonderfully cleavtacular in Cosmo. (Huffington Post)
Anais Zanotti wears a bikini just for you. (Hollywood Tuna)
Selena Gomez in thigh high leather boots? Don’t mind if I do. (Popoholic)
Khloe Kardashian‘s abs are out of control. (The Superficial)
Elsa Hosk is perhaps my dreamiest of Swedish dreams these days. Which is saying a lot considering the category of Scandinavian blonde hotties is deep and complex and altogether its own category within the sextastic. But after catching Elsa on the beach crawling about quite topless for a photoshoot, she jumped several rungs on my list. Now, seeing the Nordic beauty quite without clothes in this Adam Franzino shoot, it’s time to double down on unrequited lust.
There’s something about nekkid girls with perfect bodies standing by bodies of water that will forever be in the allure hall of fame. Maybe it’s the ode to nature, maybe it’s the ode to wet spectacular funbags, maybe it’s both and other things too complicated for me to try and spell, let alone feel. The point is, it’s a truly wondrous thing. In the movie Wild, Reese goes on that thousand mile hike to find herself. I’d go about one-quarter mile then stop when I was Elsa Hosk topless. Found myself indeed. Enjoy.
Photo Credit:Adam Franzino
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When you see these incredibly hot Victoria’s Secret models in covered topless shots with their arms over their blessed funbags or just laying in the sand or such, do you ever wonder how they got into those poses without showing off the good on the way to final position? That answer is, they don’t. They are topless on the set. Granted, they usually circle the girls with towels and a gaggle of female assistants to shield them from obvious view. But then there’s the all-seeing Egotastic! eye. Kind of like Sauron but much hornier.
Enter Swedish hot angel Elsa Hosk changing and posing on the beach in nothing but a thong bottom, her au natural nutty bits bare in the Miami beach sun. And that pose on all fours, dare I say, I’ve seen a glimpse of how I imagine heaven. Hot blonde girls in thongs crawling topless on the beach. It just has to be. I may never forget this day. I sure hope not. So damn hot. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: INF
See More Elsa Hosk Topless Goodness »
And the hits just keep on coming. Yes, I said hits. The boobtastic barrage from V.S. now includes this crazy hot see-through vision of sextastic Swedish delights courtesy of Elsa Hosk in some lingerie that ought to be illegal. Just long enough that I might arrest her and hold her at my place under citizen’s arrest for 24 to 24,000 hours. Wow.
As much as I go crazy over the fine nekkid female form, there is so much to be said for tantalizingly sheer lingerie on the ridiculously hot Nordic body of a true professional gorgeous woman. Elsa Hosk, the lingerie seems superfluous, which I believe is Latin for, I can’t wait to rip it off your body on our wedding night. I only took one semester. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Anna Sui For Victoria Secret
Elsa Hosk, how do I lust there fine Scandinavian hot body? Oh, so many ways. Enough to leaf through the lady magazines of Europe looking for instances of your sextastic. As right here in pink and various stages of undress on the pages of Marie Claire Italy. Yes, I read that. Well, peruse perhaps is the more apt word. Ogle, leer, indulge visually in your stunning female form.
I’m fully aware these types of shoots are meant for fairer sex review. But I can’t help but think deep down the creators just new a man half way around the word needed an all-over smile today. Elsa and company, you have primed me with pink. Such a benevolent blessing of the visual variety. I golf clap for you. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Marie Claire Italy
Elsa Hosk, how do I Swedish love thee. Let me count the ways. I see about forty-seven across nine different categories of lust inducement in your latest swimsuit shoot for Victoria’s Secret. Oh, underrated Nordic beauty, you do such amazing things in your two piece swimwear.
As much as we do love our battle bikini candids, there’s something to be said for the stellar sextastic looks of a world class model posed for the cameras pimping merch. If anybody could look this good, they would, but they don’t. They don’t cut paychecks to Elsa because she’s replaceable. She has that certain photogenic slash I want to make love to her until the cows come home quality that makes her a standout in the selling of the prurient feelings game. Fine work, Elsa, let’s meet up for happy hour. I’l have the wings and beer, you have the the lettuce leaf and water and we’ll go from there. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Victoria’s Secret
I can’t imagine a better use of the element of water than to envelop the topless fine female form of Swedish model Elsa Hosk. Am I jealous of water today? I am, I say without irony. Just imagine the droplets from the shower that pour down over the likes of Elsa each morning, let alone the evening bubble baths where Elsa relaxes while I virtually scrub her with my omnipresent loofah sponge.
As we approach the penultimate day of the Season of Giving, I can’t help but think of the wide eyes of a little boy named Bill who wanted nothing more as a child than to find ridiculously hot Swedish girls topless underneath the little tree he manufactured in his own room. Socks from Aunt Nell were a poor substitute, though worn with love, I assure you, Aunt Nell. One day, Santa will come down my chimney with these wonderful funbags and announce sublimely, ‘Thanks for being patient.’ I’m pretty sure this day is coming. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Chadwick Tyler