Cindy Crawford

Miley Cyrus Underboob, Cindy Crawford in a Bikini, Aubrey O’Day Chesty Goodness Highlight the Sextastic Twitpic Roundup

By Bill Swift | Feb 19th, 2015 @ 12:02 pm

Iggy Azalea quit social media today. I’d say it will have some impact if she wasn’t immediately replaced by ten other sextastic celebrities ready to take her digital media space. It’s a jungle out there. Nobody is backing off the social media train if they want to keep growing their following, and there’s still no way better to grow anything than by posting wicked hot selfies and candids of yourself. That remains a plain fact. Thankfully so.

This week’s Sextastic Twitpic Roundup includes Miley Cyrus showing off her underboob, Cindy Crawford wicked hot in a bikini, Aubrey O’Day covered topless barely for Valentine’s, Izabel Goulart showing off her crazy taut yoga body, Paris Hilton showing off what just have to be some new sloops, and much much more. You owe it to your failed efforts on the 14th because you didn’t listen to your Uncle Bill to check out each and every one of these crazy alluring self-published candids. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Instagram/Twitter

Last Week's Roundup in Case You Were Doing Community Service

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We Keep Getting Older, Cindy Crawford Hotness Stays the Same

By Bill Swift | Mar 27th, 2014 @ 9:07 am

Cindy Crawford Hot in Omega Watch Campaign 2014

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It’s really the reverse of the classic Matthew McConaughey line from Dazed and Confused. Cindy Crawford good looks just seem to be frozen in time for the past twenty-five years. Featured in a new campaign for Omega watches, Cindy shows off her allure, passion inducement, and still wicked hot body to pimp timepieces I suppose. Hard to say, but it’s definitely working.

It’s impossible to calculate how much delight Cindy Crawford has brought to men and Sapphic leaning women through the years. It might be infinity times something or other. But it’s a lot. I guess they don’t give out national holidays for this kind of achievement in benevolence, but they ought have one day a year when we honor the ladies who make morning wood possible. Of course, we do honor them here daily. Cindy Crawford definitely deserves a seat at the table of champions. Enjoy.

CINDY CRAWFORD IS ONE SUPER FINE BIKINI MOM

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Miley Cyrus Topless, Cindy Crawford Covered Nekkid, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley Nipple Show Highlight the Epic W Magazine Pictorial

By Bill Swift | Feb 10th, 2014 @ 12:56 am

Cindy Crawford Covered Nekkid in Bed in W Magazine March 2014

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I know people make fun of me for my vast women’s magazine subscriptions. Go on, chuckle, just like the middle school skate gang that terrorizes me outside my own stoop when I go to retrieve my lady journals. But who has the last laugh when the very first Miley Cyrus topless pictures show up in W Magazine, along with Lara Stone topless, Miranda Kerr barely covered nekkid in the bed, and Cindy Crawford, well, damn. Oh, why not throw in Rosie-Huntington-Whiteley in a see-through bra, Vanessa Hudgens different looking hotness, Milla Jovovich stunning, Rita Ora biting on a bed sheet, and Ciara looking boudoir sextastic.

It’s only one of the finest magazine photo spreads ever. Certainly monumental, epic, and initiating the clarion call for a little private time viewing. Yep, who’s laughing now Mr. Postman, old neighbor lady, skate kids, and mom? You’ve had your fun belittling me through the years. I’ll take my topless wicked hot celebrity photos and my perfume samplers, thank you very much. Enjoy.

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Hmm, I Wonder If Cindy Crawford Is Still Ridiculously Hot at 47

By Bill Swift | Nov 18th, 2013 @ 3:08 pm

Cindy Crawford Covered Topless in V Magazine #86 Winter 2013

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You know I wouldn’t ask that question if the answer wasn’t in the affirmative. Cindy Crawford may be shot in black and white but I’m seeing nothing but colorful hotness in this V-magazine covered topless spread where Cindy is doing something extremely kind to at least one tree. Maybe it’s an environmental statement of some kind.

I must admit, I’m not a super fan of the theme of this shoot to dress Cindy in men’s clothing. I’d be fine with women’s clothing, finer with no clothing at all. But the chance to see the full sextastic powers of Cindy Crawford rise once more — just an epic, unexpected surprise. Enjoy.

CINDY IN HER MILFY BIKINI JUST A COUPLE YEARS AGO

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Cindy Crawford Brings Out the Veteran Cleavetastic for Gatsby in Cannes

By Bill Swift | May 16th, 2013 @ 7:47 am

Cindy Crawford Reveals Vintage Cleavage at the 'The Great Gatsby' Cannes Premiere

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I love a good surprise. I mean, I hate surprise parties, those are truly wretched affairs. But a good surprise in the form of a veteran hottie showing up unexpectedly strong at a public event, I do so love that, Like Cindy Crawford at The Great Gatsby premiere in Cannes. Now, I have no intention of seeing The Great Gatsby or ever visiting Cannes again until they apologize for my errant arrest some years ago on charges of Strange Loitering. But I would travel most anywhere else to see Cindy flash her motherly cleavetastic as she did on the red carpet for the film premiere.

Cindy Crawford was once in the hallowed halls of the top of the line sextastic. That kind of power and acknowledgement doesn’t simply fade with time, it eases gently into a horny goodnight. And with Cindy, the night is still very young. Enjoy.

CINDY CRAWFORD IS NOT EVEN CLOSE TO BEING DONE

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Cindy Crawford Bikini Candids Are A Hot Green Blur

By Bill Swift | Apr 2nd, 2013 @ 7:16 am

Cindy Crawford in a Green Bikini Poolside in Los Cabos

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I may not have gone to college like some of you, or high school, or one year of middle school, but I do know an Impressionist hottie painting when I see one, and that I see from blurred telescopic lens aimed from quite a distance at Cindy Crawford strutting her veteran bikini goodness down Cabo way.

Now I’m not sure if Cindy’s husband was using some type of visual jamming device, or if the currents from the latest El Nino (there’s always an El Nino somewhere) threw off the space time continuum, but you know what, a view of the faptastically still delicious Cindy Crawford in a bikini? Even with squiggly old school cable porn PPV lines — still hot. Enjoy.

LESS BLURRY CINDY CRAWFORD BIKINI PICS, ALSO HOT

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Cindy Crawford Cleavage and Shorts Show For the Veteran Hotness That Will Never Go Away

By Bill Swift | Oct 30th, 2012 @ 12:15 am

Cindy Crawford Shops in a Tank Top and Shorts in Malibu

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Oh, Cindy Crawford, how have you not won a Nobel Prize for all you’ve done for man-kind over the years? Clearly, the Nobel committee in its efforts to promote the role of peacemakers around the world must identify women who have kept men off the battlefields and locked in their bathrooms over the years.

At forty-six, Cindy Crawford bending over in a tank top is more than enough to stop a crowd of men in the store in their tracks, and her long legs, well, enough for them to pretend to be inspecting fruit for ripeness in the produce section as we men do when we’re really just checking out hot girls (we have no idea how to judge ripeness, ladies, at least not on fruit).

Cindy Crawford, yee-hah. Enjoy.

OUR LUST AFFAIR WITH CINDY CRAWFORD RUNS LONG, DEEP, AND STRONG