We truly are living in digitally interesting times. I know all this technology is important in the fields of medicine and education and public safety and other less important matters, but what it’s done for the ability to translate celebrity ego into celebrity hot social media pics really must be it’s highest purpose. The amount of skin self-published by the most stellar looking among us continues to grow by the day. It’s, well, it’s beautiful.
This week’s Sextastic Twitpic Roundup includes the blessedly hot Arianny Celeste, Emily Ratajkowski not wearing much, Paris Hilton flashing cleavage from across the sea, Anastasia Ashley in multiple bikini booty visual cues, Alessandra Ambrosio in a tiny bikini, Kendall Jenner in her Calvins and much more. You owe it to that elf who tries ever so hard but still can’t make toys anybody wants to check out each and every one of these passion inducing selfies and self-published candids. It’s like candy for the libido. Enjoy.
You can’t keep a good woman with a perfect booty down. Not to be floundered by her recent victim of theft issues, Anastasia Ashley and her stellar fine bikini body returned once more to the sandy and salty shores of Miami in another perfectly fitting bikini to flash her boobtastic and asstastic combo right in the face of her Miami Beach would be competition.
Anastasia isn’t just a talented surfer girl, she’s a top tier sextastic talent who surely must be causing many neck cranking injuries along the shore where she preens and poses and splashes and dives. It’s a happy kind of pain when it begins or ends with Anastasia in a bikini. Keep up the good work, we will be watching, as always. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Splash News
There’s a story going around about my hot butted surfer girl belusted that birthday suit photos of Anastasia Ashley got stolen from her photographer’s laptop during a recent risque but non-nude shoot in Miami. You know how I feel about theft, even if the ill gotten booty is heavenly bare booty. I’ll have to consult with my priest and my purveyor of dried meats and cheese to work out my true feelings on this one.
In the interim, for a lovely buttockal splash of the finest derriere this side of hang ten, Anastasia and her bitty green bikini gave our hearts a collective pitter patter splatter in Miami, showing off her athletic frame and that seat bottom that is simply tops. While she may have been the victim of a larceny, it may very well be that Anastasia herself is deserving of a light to moderate spanking from Uncle Bill who only has her best interests at hand, so to speak. I give with my left hand and I punish with the right. That’s why all the girls want to be my girlfriend. Please, don’t pinch me, yes, I’m aware I’m dreaming. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Splash News
I like to think of Anastasia Ashley as my surfer girlfriend. She likes to think of me as that guy she pays another guy to keep away from her at public events. That’s about as close to a healthy relationship as I can must with sextastic beach girls with super stellar booties. I’m the victim here I’m sure you’ll note.
Anastasia appears in one devilishly angelic booty rocking pictorial in the new edition of Esquire magazine. This hang ten alluring young lady is slowly climbing up the rungs of the notoriously passion inducing ladies of Tinsel Town, a climb that I’m going to watch from below while holding the ladder and pretending I’m not peeking. She really deserves everything she gets. A cool surfer chick with a stellar female form. I couldn’t wish her more luck. Or, you know, a nekkid photoshoot. C’mon, Anastasia, it’s time for civic duty on overload. Enjoy.
Anastasia Ashley looks sexy as F in a sweater for Esquire. (Hollywood Tuna)
Jay Z has 99 problems but Beyonce in a bathing suit ain’t one. (TMZ)
Christina Aguilera shows off her funbags in a cleavy red dress. (Huffington Post)
Jennifer Akerman is just as friggin’ hot as her sister Malin. (Drunken Stepfather)
Natasha Barnard in skimpy lingerie is extraordinary, y’all. (Popoholic)
Chelsea Handler keeps entertaining us with her naked ta-tas. (The Superficial)
Paige Hathaway won Instagram with her boobies and booty. (COED)
Twerking surfer girl Anastasia Ashley took her hot bikini bum showtime to the right coast to give Miami a little taste of her sweet beach body. She was being shot by sweet cheeked paparazzi hottie Logan Fazio, the best looking pap by a factor of higher than my fingers can count, who decided what the heck, I’ll throw my booty into the show with Anastasia and treble the amount of cold showers needed along the sandy strip
Someday I’m going to go up to Logan and ask her, is that your giant camera or are you just damn glad to meet me. It won’t make any sense, but we’ll have a few drinks and then ask Anastasia and the other smoking hot girls on Miami Beach to parade their perfect hineys before her lenses. I’ll play the tambourine as I do in all situations when I have no real job in the band so I look like I’m sort of supposed to be there. What a day that will be. I’ll probably burn. I don’t care. Enjoy.
As much as I laud Miami and it being the epicenter of all things bikini and hot in this country, nay, this world at this very moment, I’m not so keen on my California girls removing themselves from within my binocular shot to take part in the Miami exhibitionist movement. I admire talent wherever and whenever it appears, but when the likes of Anastasia Ashley and her twerkin’ fine bikini bottom leave my vicinity, well, I’m kind of having anxiety attacks here. I’m breathing into a paper bag even as I scroll through photos of Anastasia in various states of bikini and surfing hotness.
I’ve got to talk to my friends in fake law enforcement (mall security) about getting one of those ankle monitors on Anastasia so she can’t roam like this. Albeit, if she”s going to roam, it could be worse than doing so in a tiny striped bikini that shows off her ridiculously hot thumper. Anastasia, come home! Enjoy.