Amber Lancaster

Miranda Kerr Is Back! And Leading A Convention of Hotties at Victoria’s Secret Party

Bless this glorious day. The queen hath returned.

Miranda Kerr, arguably (by me included) one of the hottest women on the face of this spinning gaseous mass we call home, has returned from her sequester from hottieville by reason of pregnancy by cad. But, today, let bygones be bygones. Too much ogle happiness. Too many dreams left unfulfilled now re-fulfilled with the potential of future awesome from Miranda Kerr, who looked uber-hot in her valiant sextastic return for the Victoria's Secret swimsuit catalog launch party.

Once my drooleth done stoppeth from staring catatonic at Miranda Kerr, it was hard not to do some further and heavy leering at some of the other sexy celebrities strutting the pink carpet, including Victoria's Secret angels Adriana Lima, Alessandra Ambrosio, and Candice Swanepoel, not to mention super hottie models Kate Upton, Joanna Krupa, and Kim Kardashian (c'mon, her androidal body is hot).

A collection of sexy like this only comes around once in a while. Enjoy.

Photo credit: Splash News / Getty Images

Amber Lancaster Leads List of Ocean-Bound Hotties at Soul Surfer Premiere

True, but sad story. I've been surfing once in my life. Once. I got stung by a jellyfish five minutes into my paddle out, I winced and cried like a baby, some dude pissed on my arm, and my girlfriend dumped me the next day. Needless to say, I love surfing!

The Soul Surfer premiere last night brought out some super hotties to support the inspirational story of Bethany Hamilton, who got her arm ripped off by an actual real beast of the see, and still found the cajones to get back out there and ride the waves once more. Jesus, she puts me to shame. And, she's hot by the way (see below). But to last night, I was entranced by the likes of Amber Lancaster, AnnaSophia Robb (who plays Hamilton in the movie), Carrie Underwood, and Hilary Duff. Quite a gaggle of blonde betties. Enjoy.

Here's Bethany Hamilton, the tough-assed one-armed surfer girl. What did I tell you?

Photo credit: Splash News

Amber Lancaster Bikini Pictures Demand and Command Your Attention

So maybe RJ Berger isn't going exactly as planned for MTV, but not for lack of hotness on the part of both TV cheerleader and real life former NFL cheerleader, Amber Lancaster, who strikes an amazing cut of sexiness in these mini-sets of bikini pictures. Amber Lancaster does the classics up right. I suspect there will be much greatness and hotness combined in her near future. Enjoy.

Selena Gomez and Ashley Greene Lead The Sexy at the 2010 VMA Awards

I must admit, didn't watch the MTV Video Music Awards. I think when you're over like 17, your TV no longer allows you to tune to MTV. But, that didn't stop me from sifting through 8,754 photographs of everyone but Lady Gaga at the MTV publicity-crazed event last night. And, I've selected my eight favorite hotties from the red carpet (albeit Miranda Cosgrove is featured at an afterparty). Will you agree with my list? I hope not, that would be boring. But I used the tried and tested drool method. If wetness-formed, they got listed. Here's my Top 8 of VMA Hotness, not in any formal order, from last night:

(Featured from left to right: Amber Lancaster, Ashley Greene, Lenay Dunn, Maria Menounos, Miranda Cosgrove, Selena Gomez, Teri Seymour, and Victoria Justice.)

Photo credit: Splash News / Fame / pacificcoastnewsonline.com

Amber Lancaster (Covered) Topless from the Clever Bastards at MTV (VIDEO)

So, maybe MTV is youth obsessed, and maybe they think anybody old enough to shave might as well be cast off on an ice float into the sea, but they were sinister enough to make a big exception, hiring a 30-year old, super hottie Amber Lancaster, who we lust heartily, to play a sexy high school cheerleader in The Hard Times of RJ Berger. They've doubled their clever quotient, and our praises, by finding unique ways to get Amber almost-naked on the show, including this little number with her backpack just barely covering her glorious boobs. As much as I detest pimping MTV, hats off to you, former music video channel.

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Amber Lancaster Is The Hottest New MTV High School Cheerleader

Say hello to Amber Lancaster, best new almost-thirty-year-old, super sexy, TV high school cheerleader, from the new risque comedy on MTV, The Hard Times of RJ Berger. I like Amber Lancaster. I like cheerleaders (and Amber used to be a real-life cheerleader for the Seattle Seahawks). I am very excited about Amber Lancaster as the object of sexual fantasy cheerleader in this show. Granted, we won't see Amber nude on MTV, but, hot girls in lingerie is a blessing hardly in disguise. I used to complain about the fact that MTV no longer plays music videos. Today, I stop complaining. Enjoy.

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