We can give Europe credit for many things. First and foremost, their liberal views on female nudity. A big plus column win for them over us Puritanical Yanks. And their food and wine. Outstanding. And even many of the dramatic arts, heck, all these years later we’re all still singing opera in Italian. But even the most ardent of Europhiles has to admit that when it comes to music, well, Europe just plain sucks. Not that U.S. popular music is much to brag to the Gods of Awesome Tunage about, but Euro music, well, it takes it down yet another notch. There was Mozart, and then right straight to Falco, with very little in-between. Jedward in the Eurovision song contest kind of summed it all up perfectly.
But… European music awards shows do know how to put on a proper party, a dress-up affair filled with sextastic celebrities dangling their diamonds and strutting their wares, such as at the NRJ Music Awards in Cannes over the weekend, where Taylor Swift once more showed off her new nicer melons, Alicia Keys looked simply hot, and Carly Rae Jepsen reminded us why we are so eagerly awaiting the inevitable release of her sex tape, she’s a cutie. So, yes, crappy music. But, rewarded with some splendid looks. Almost worth it. Enjoy.
I’m still not exactly sure what MTV has to do with music, I think the last music video they played was back in ’97, and the last time they were considered the tastemakers in pop music was about ’92, but, god bless ‘em, they keep putting on their music video award shows and the favorite music artist of young teens everywhere keep on showing up. That latter part means we have to cover it, because they do still bring out the hotties once a year.
This year’s crop of the PG-rated best at the MTV Video Music Awards included Taylor Swift, who stole the show quite a bit in her musical performance, and on the red carpet, Katy Cocktease, Alicia Keys, Emma Watson, Miley Cyrus, Nicki Minaj, and Rihanna. I’ll say this for MTV, those are some big gets. Can’t say I own any of their albums, but I do own thoughts of each of them being naughty in the back of my Corolla at the drive-in movie theater that shut down eleven years ago, kind of like MTV itself. Enjoy.
It’s Thursday and that can only mean one thing, well, two things if you count the fact that it’s also the day I spend an hour staring sheepishly into the window of the pedicure place down the street watching random women’s toes be painted. But the more important thing is the Sextastic Twitpic Roundup, where we gather together the finest in the past week of hot celebrity meets ego meets cell phone cameras and find the best of the best in the world of the self-published pictures.
This week’s Roundup includes some seriously hot bums on the part of Arianny Celeste, Sara Jean Underwood at E3, Olympic virgin hottie Lolo Jones, some benevolent cleavage from Jamie Lynn Spears, bikini pictures from the likes of Selena Gomez, Alicia Keys, Kylie Jenner and Kendall Jenner, Fergie, and a ton more bits of self-picked hotness. Check it all out, I dare you. Enjoy.
Jennifer Aniston, Demi Moore and Alicia Keys get some bonding time in. (SocialiteLife)
Rihanna swims without bikini bottoms. (HuffPo)
Angelina Jolie on the cover of Vanity Fair. (FoxNews)
Mortal Kombat Noob. (CollegeHumor)
Emma Roberts, the co-ed. (TheFABlife)
Jessica Biel falls off the wagon. (GossipCop)
Malin Akerman is just damn good looking. (Celebslam)
Jessica Sutta making love to the camera. (Idolator)
Lea Michele Hawaiian bikini vacation. (Celebuzz)
Jessica Biel spends a lot of time on that perfect body. (HuffPo)
Kristin Cavallari is single and ready to mingle. (FoxNews)
Adriana Lima awesome beach body. (GossipCenter)
Jennifer Lopez makes her ex jealous with these bikini pictures. (SocialiteLife)
Lindsay Lohan stumbles into more trouble. (TMZ)
Alicia Keys rare bikini peek. (TheSuperficial)
If you happened to be at some fancy hotel in Rio de Janeiro (which I don’t know the name of) this weekend, you might have gotten to see Alicia Keys in her bikini, up close and personal. If you’re like the rest of us, you’ll just haveto settle for these Alicia Keys bikini pictures. Of course, if you were there in person, youmay not have seen Alicia picking her bikini bottoms out of her ass crack. Sucks to be you.