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Beatification of Serena Williams Marches On

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Lex Jurgen - March 16, 2017

 

Brawny paper towels wants to remind you of the groundbreaking women in American History. The greats like Harriet Tubman, Amelia Earhart, Susan B. Anthony, Marie Curie, and Serena Williams. Not necessarily in that order. Serena's accomplishment being the holder of more major singles tennis titles than any other person in history. That's not true. But then Marie Curie is not American. She wasn't even French. 

Brawny's new slogan reads, Strength Has No Gender. It used to be, The Strength to Take on Tough Messes. The new one gives you far more confidence when wiping up juice spills. The Georgia-Pacific Corporation expanded their groundbreaking women campaign to include Vernice Armour. She was a female combat pilot for the Marine Corps in Iraq. You have to hope people realize this in no way overshadows Williams' accomplishments of wearing white and beating chicks with one-third her muscle mass at Wimbledon. 

By way of shorthand for the exam, Serena Williams is groundbreaking, strong, smart, feminine and sexy in a thong. Disagree and you're a hater. The lumberjack is rape culture.

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