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Awesomely Horrible Netflix Instant Films: “Iron Sky”

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bill-swift - June 13, 2014

Speculative fiction can bring up interesting questions. "What would it have been like if the Nazis had won the war?", is a popular one. Things would have been far different. For one thing, we wouldn't have a Black president. You know, because he'd probably be dead. So, would I, of course. Iron Sky is based on the old conspiracy theory that Nazis survived the war on the moon. You might have heard this tale on internet forums full of crazy people. It's a silly premise, I'll grant you, but they certainly could have made a better movie than Iron Sky.

In the near future, a space mission from Earth lands on the moon as a PR move by president not-Sarah Palin. The mission has a real astronaut and a black model named James Washington on it for reasons that are never explained. James is captured by the Nazis that live on the moon and they discover that by using the computing power in his iPhone they can power return invasion of Earth. They make him White, for some reason, and then go back to Earth on an expedition led by a hot blond teacher named Renate and her megalomaniacal boyfriend Klaus. They dump Washington on the streets and become campaign managers for president not-Palin. There is some pretty serious partisan politics going on here. The rest of the moon Nazis show up and Klaus kills the moon fuhrer so he can be moon fuhrer, get it? It then gets even more confusing when the U.N. and president not-Palin get into it about what to do about the Nazi threat. Eventually Washington and a reformed Renate stop the invasion and end up on the moon as the Earth is destroyed by the actions of president not-Palin. Renate and a now Black again Washington set out to re-educate the survivors.

It's so bad. The script is laughably terrible. The effects are beyond crappy and I've seen better acting in porn flicks. Still, I imagine it is a good movie to see when you are drunk/high/sleepy. Watch it, if you dare. It hurts so good.

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