CELEBRITY

Ashley Graham Hulk Smash

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jhanson - January 13, 2017

When you're known solely for capitalizing on a bizarre cultural perversion seeking to normalize obesity, doing a photo spread where you hoist up a twink is either the best or worst thing you can do.

Ashley Graham is known for being the fattest model in the history of the world to pay her rent with modeling. You can trot the fat chicks out every now and then and we'll all clap like we do for the Special Olympics, but we all know the deal. Also, aren't the Olympics where the people break records and run fifty miles per hour more special than the ones where the competitors don't fully understand the rules? Perhaps we should swap out those terms.

Graham is pictured in V Magazine sporting exceptionally large legs, arms, and gunt. She does not gain weight in her face. Due to this genetic anomaly, as mentioned prior, she is the fattest fully professional model in history. We want justice for the double chin crowd. Put Mama June on the runway, just reinforce it first. Graham dropped some of her trademark slick wit in the accompanying interview: 

"The reason for starting [my fashion lines] was kind of selfish. The first line was for my lingerie, and I did it because I couldn’t find lingerie that would fit my 36DDD boobies. Boobies, I can’t believe I just said boobies. Breasts!." 

Wow, how politically incorrect of you to say boobies. Apologize to someone, fast. That's a joke, boobies offends nobody. But, see how that feels, fat ass? Have you trained yourself to think everything you say is a trigger? What do you mean by breasts? I prefer pectorals or mammaries. The point is this heifer is clearly struggling to lift up a guy a third her size. That means you're out of shape. If you couldn't tell already, look at the dailies.

Photo Credit: V Magazine  

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