CELEBRITIES

Ariel Winter Wears Short Shorts and Sports Pokies

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brian-mcgee - September 5, 2017

Ariel Winter is one of those celebrities that old men like to say are, "rubbing it in your face without ever letting you see the goods." People like that are simply feeling disenfranchised and marginalized in a society that used to value them. Don't sweat it, Ariel Winter's gonna show it to us eventually, it just won't be until she's good and ready.

I think most starlets these days looking to break out of teeny-bopper stardom are wise to follow the Anne Hathaway model. Tease us a couple of times, wear something obscenely see-through to a premiere, and then just say the hell with it and go nude in a movie. The important thing here is to keep her somewhat relevant before the final steps of this go down. If she can't go nude in something semi-respectable, she probably won't do it. It's like with the Olsen Twins. Their acting relevance faded by the time they turned legal, so everyone except Lance Armstrong kinda lost interest. 

That's where social media comes in. It allows Ariel to remind us that she's got nipples and a zorch. She'll show it to us one day, we just gotta make sure she stays relevant in the meantime. Do your part soldier!

Photo Credit: Backgrid

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