Adriana Lima Newly Single MILF, Hope Springs Eternal

Lots of men feel the need to brag about their conquests, I've always felt that discretion was the better part of gentlemanly behavior. So when people keep asking me if I've been knocking boots with Adriana Lima dozens and dozens of times since her split this week from her NBA baller husband, I say, I have no idea what you're talking about. Plus, dozens and dozens seems kind of low. But mostly no comment. It's always a rough day when one of the world's hottest women and international lingerie model comes back on the market. Let us all take a minute to linger in the pain.

P.S. Adriana, if you're looking for your toothbrush, I left it with the guy at the counter.