A Roundup Of Some Of Emrata’s Very Sexiest Instagram Shots

How does Emily Ratajkowski get people to give her the cool nickname Emrata when all I can get people to call me is douchebag? What is the minimum number of magazine covers that a person has to appear on in order to get that kind of respect? Because right now all I can say for certain is that it is more than zero. Maybe one day I will convince people that it is cool to call me Alval. But in order for that to happen I will also have to convince people that I am worthy of being put on at least one magazine cover.

Geeze, this is going to turn into one of those If You Give a Mouse a Cookie scenarios, isn’t it? By the time I get to the point where anyone is willing to give me a cool nickname then I will probably have already had to visit the hotel rooms of several Hollywood producers. And to be honest, I do not think my jaw has the stamina to withstand that sort of treatment. Now that I have time to think about it, I am probably better off just taking the douchebag moniker and trying to turn that lemon into lemonade.

Photo Credit: Instagram