BIKINI

Kelly Bensimon in A Bikini

Lex Jurgen - December 30, 2015

Why am I so happy? Because I'm 50 and college guys think I'm 30. Affording the A-list surgeons is huge. Go Jewish or go home. You can support the H1-B visa program in other ways. Don't get the guy who supplements with Uber driving at night. You're trusting this man with your new tits. He should have some vowels in his name. Your nose is as cute as a button. Oh, it was a button? Brilliant. I'm sorry you're not allowed on planes.

Photo credit: Getty Images

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