Gorgeous Emilia Schüle Turning Heads Out In Berlin

I am ninety percent sure Emilia Schule is a witch that is trying to curse me through this computer screen. Given the kind of content that I produce I am neither surprised nor offended. I understand completely, but that does not mean that I am happy about it.

Between that hand gestures and her piercing stare, this is really the only logical explanation. I am telling you, when I look into her eyes the urge to stick my head in the microwave and turn it on is even more overpowering than it normally is.

A public service announcement to all future fathers out there: Do not name your daughter Emilia unless you want her to be hot and make the dreams of many men come true. Apparently naming a girl Emilia drastically increases the chances of her being attractive. And that is why I am planning on naming any child that I produce Herpes. I know it isn’t a surefire way to keep the boys away, especially if they ever discover a cure, but I feel it is a solid first layer of defense. It will have to filter out some of the guys who do not think she is worth the risk.

Photo Credit: Splash News / Instagram