How To Look Like Wolverine, (Minus The Stupid Hair)

If you want to look like Wolverine, or at least the Hugh Jackman version, you better get ready to eat a lot of gross crap in bizarre time tables. This is of interest to guys like me that are fat and goofy looking and find their girl watching Jackman instead of watching Jack, man, (get it?). Jackman recently discussed his method of getting ripped fast. Hugh says that in order to bulk up he has to work out 6 hours a day and eat lots and lots of steamed chicken breast with no salt and steamed spinach, also with no condiments. He fasts for 16 hours a day and then consumes 5000 calories in the remaining time. I always thought that when I heard an actor putting on weight for a role they meant they were eating pizzas and deep fried cheeseburgers. What a let down. What the hell is the point of using, "I'm getting fat for a role", if you have to eat tasteless poop?

I'm sure that Wolverine isn't taking any steroids because, again, if he did why would he still be eating that gross crap? The beauty of 'roiding out is that you can eat mama's pasta fazool without worrying about your girlish figure.