The US National Anthem WON’T be Changed to ‘Guile’s Theme’? Why the Eff Not? (VIDEO)

We all love The Star-Spangled Banner. Of course we do. Bombs are bursting in air, the flag is still there, what's not to like? We would ask that whining little pop ballaches stop butchering the song at sporting events, but you can't have everything.

Still, the War of 1812 was, as anyone who knows their math will tell you, pretty effin' long ago. Apparently, it's time for an updated anthem, which still retains that same spirit of patriotism and general badassery.

No song could do so quite like Guile's Theme. This is an ode to the dudeliest dude America has spawned since G.I Joe. A man who has been effortlessly Flash Kicking and Sonic Booming the gonads of his Street Fighter opponents since 1991, with no effs or apologies given. His theme, as the old meme says, goes with everything, and he has the stars and stripes tattooed on both his arms.

In short, a petition to make this the new US national anthem was long overdue. And swiftly dismissed as piss-takery and removed from We the People once it arose. Close, but no cigar.