Elmo Is Going To Do Time

Elmo has been arrested in New York City. No, I'm not talking about the guy who performed Elmo, Kevin Clash, who is  a kiddy fiddler. No, it's an Elmo in Times Square. This is just another in a long string of assaults, arrests, and harassment by beloved characters. Batman and Spiderman have been arrested as has Spongebob Squarepants. It took ten cops to take down the beloved piece of felt. This to me is a sign of how bad the economy really is. I know we're supposedly in an economic recovery, but there is something really wrong with us as a nation if Muppets and superheroes have to panhandle fat tourists from Nebraska in Times Square. Elmo must have made millions on merchandising alone. Remember Tickle Me Elmo? What happened to his fortune? Does he have a drug problem? Gambling? Prostitutes? I don't know.

I cry a tear for the death of America.