Today In Japanese Perversion: Breast Enlarging Rake (VIDEO)

I remember back in Jr. High, when young ladies were blossoming into womanhood, that there was a lot of anxiety about breast size. These were the days when gals stuffed their bras with tissue paper to try and not look flat-chested. In time most girls were satisfied with their ta-tas once they were fully grown. Some, but not all. Well, my friends in the itty bitty titty committee, all you need to do is go to Japan to fix that problem. A woman named Takiko Shindo, who is known as the "boob goddess" has invented a kind of boob rake meant to enlarge the mammaries of those who don't want to go the surgical route. It's called the Oppai Taisou, which translates into "boob exercise massage". How does it work? It stimulates the pectoral muscles and ligaments that hold the breasts up. Think of it as a kind of push-up for hooters.

Of course, it probably doesn't work. Dr. Barry Handler, a boobies expert, says:

"There are ligaments in breast tissue that stretch over time. But once they stretch, they don't snap back. Ligaments aren't like muscles -- there's no contractible property."

But I guess there is no harm in using a rake to jiggle ta-tas, which let's face it, is what this is all about.