bill-swift - January 22, 2013
A Harvard scientist is looking for a woman to be a surrogate mother...for a Neanderthal baby. George Church is a geneticist that's spent the last few years extracting DNA from Neanderthal skulls and whatnot. He says he's close to cloning a member of this extinct human ancestor. It's not as weird as it sounds...OK, it is as weird as it sounds but it's more possible than you'd think. Scientists successfully delivered an extinct species of ibex, though the poor abomination of nature died soon after birth. Neanderthals were big and hairy like Teamsters and looked not unlike Johnny Damon. They went extinct about 10,000 years ago. Now, putting aside the ethical and moral questions about cloning, my question is...why?
I can only see bad stuff happening. Most of what I know about genetics and cloning comes from the film Jurassic Park and what that movie taught me is that if you bring back extinct species people die. Sure, a neanderthal isn't a T-Rex that can bite a car in half but I've also seen 2001: A Space Odyssey and know what one of these ape dudes can do with a bone and an enemy's skull. Also, where is he going to find a human woman willing to carry and Neanderthal fetus to term? A young college girl that needs money is much more likely simply to go work at a coffee shop or at the local lap dance emporium. What woman wants a hairy monkey man growing inside her entrails? Not anyone I'd want to date, I'll tell you that.