esteban-esposito - July 30, 2015
Tom Brady lost his appeal to his suspension over the Deflate Gate scandal and will have to sit out four games while possibly getting left hanging on multiple high fives.
During the initial investigation, Brady was asked to provide his cell phone and wisely declined, mostly because he was clearly texting the ball boys and telling them to deflate balls, but also because it probably contained at least a few nudie pics of his supermodel wife he didn't want posted on Reddit.
New and completely unfounded reports from ESPN's blowhard gossip queen Stephen A Smith suggest Brady actually smashed his cell phone to avoid handing it over, like a dude in the mafia would do. It's unclear if he used a sledge hammer or ran it over with snow tires, most likely because it never happened.
Still, it's fun to imagine it did. Tom Brady is such a goodie two shoes, just once America would like to see him throw on a leather jacket and steal a newspaper. It's possible his evil twin flattened those balls and took a hammer to that phone. We will never know.
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