The Olsen Twins Skip “Full House” 25th Anniversary

Last week, most of Full House cast got together to celebrate the 25th anniversary of the iconic show...but not the Olsen twins. Yes, it's been a quarter of a decade since Saget, Coulier, and Stamos lived together in a non-homoerotic way to raise three girls in a ridiculously large house in San Francisco. For many of us kids of the late 80's and early 90's, Full House defined the zeitgeist of the times. When I got older and went to college my friends and I would spend hours eating Cheez-its and drink beer while watching Full House re-runs on TBS. Glory days.

The only major characters missing from the reunion were Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. The two hotties rose to fame switching off playing the wisecracking Michelle Tanner. Listen to me, Olsen Twins: I know you are super rich and live glamorous lifestyles, but where would you be without Full House? If your parents hadn't cruelly thrust you into the spotlight at the age of 6 months would you be billionaires today? If you hadn't worked on the episode where you lost Comet at the park could you have made It Takes Two or When in Rome? No! So, before you get too big for your Prada, remember where you came from. You're in big trouble misters!