Rachel Weisz

Rachel Weisz Is My Sexy Super Secret Girlfriend in Esquire

I know that Rachel Weisz is kind of married or something to James Bond, but that has done little to squelch my super secret teen-diary type crush on the Hebrew School hottie whose children I would like to bear. Or vice-versa. I’m flexible. Just so long as we couple in the manner of our forebears, preferably thrice an evening before some type of roaring fire. Although Rachel would have to build the fire, I was kicked out of Boy Scouts for inappropriate allowing of touches before we got to fire building.

Featured in Esquire’s current edition, Rachel ever looks classy, hot, and kind of like the alluring new neighbor on the block you make an excuse to go visit. I don’t bake or have any useful household skills, so I usually just drop by and invite the fine ladies to be part of my neighborhood watch program, which is mostly me and a flashlight and some borderline invasions of privacy. Oh, Rachel, you are a fine looking woman. Enjoy.

Rachel Weisz Cleavetastic In Her Little Black Number at ‘Bourne Legacy’ Premiere

(First, a shoutout, to our very own photo editor, Lexi, who finally got her shot to snap some red carpet photos last night at the N.Y.C. premiere of The Bourne Legacy and got every hot inch of Rachel Weisz in these stunning pictures. Way to go, Lexi.)

I’ve been saying this for years now, but Rachel Weisz simply doesn’t get the attention she deserves for being a classic beauty and a half. Maybe it’s because she’s so low-key as a celebrity, maybe the broodier characters she tends to play in her films, or maybe just because she doesn’t go jogging in a half shirt and stretch pants around Hollywood (oh, that she would do this please), but the brunette sweetheart doesn’t make the rankings of hottest lists and it’s a vast overlook by inexperienced oglers.

But, not today. Enjoy.