Harper's Bazaar Posts:

Miranda Kerr Let Me Be Your Baby Daddy

Damn, Miranda Kerr is a good looking woman. Now that what's his face is out of the picture, I really do believe it's time for me to step in and provide my be fruitful and multiply skills to this woman for whom the entire planet would benefit from extensive offspring creation. The world only gets better looking if the good looking people like Miranda, and obviously me, start making many babies. Somebody's got to compete with all the, what I like to call, 'lessers', who are humping like rabbits when the lighting gets less severe in the evenings.

Featured in the new edition of Harper's Bazaar UK, Miranda shows exactly why if you lived with her, every time she popped out of her dressing room to ask you if she looked good in her outfit, you'd probably end up having sex. She always looks good in her outfit. Or not outfit. Damn, Miranda, call me now and let's get to doing our part to keeping this planet blue and beautiful. Enjoy.

Stephanie Seymour Gets Down and Dirty in Lingerie With Her Two Fortunate Sons

You know what they say, the family that models provocatively together in black lace and leather is the family that stays together. Specifically stays together in winter cabins trapped in the snow with nothing to keep themselves warm save for the bare heat of their taboo desires. But, I'm quite sure that wasn't entire discussed in this HarpersBazaar.com photoshoot featuring the wicked veteran naughty model Stephanie Seymour and her two growing boys.

Now, we typically do not ever feature the less fair and less interesting gender on this website, but this seemed like a rare enough occasion for the kids to stay in the picture. After all, you don't want to come between Mama Bear Stephanie and her cubs. I mean, unless you're properly lubed and gloved. It can get kind of familial in those tight quarters. Stephanie looks like a million damn dollars in these racy photos; her boys look super fortunate and in need of maybe some counseling. But mostly just fortunate. Enjoy.

Uma Thurman Comes Up Big in the Drop Dead Sexy Department for Harper’s Bazaar

As you know, one of the hurdles of martyrdom I suffer for thee is the collecting of the women's magazines at the doorsteps to my pied-à-terre each month as the neighborhood school children taunt me with all types of hurtful remarks. But once inside the safety of my Ikea furnished domicile, the virtually bloodying at the hands of those pre-pubescent rogues all becomes quite worthwhile as I rediscover the classy looks of oh so many world-class hotties.

Uma Thurman is one of those rough and tumble, unique looking celebrities not afraid to look brutally bleak on camera, and therefore might get herself a less than glamorous reputation at times in the Hottieville press. But when the lean, lanky, Boston native turns up the classic hotness dial to sexy 10, she definitely brings out the super modeling chops that got her first noticed as a teen. In her latest pictorial for Harper's Bazaar, Uma doth turn that dial.

There are so many sexy celebrities out there, we often lose track of some of our unique looking favorites, including Uma Thurman. Glad to see her once more. Enjoy.

Our Lady of Swanepoel: Candice Artsy Shot With a Bat for Harper’s Bazaar

You know I understand as much about art as a monkey understands solid buttockal region hygiene. So when themes get involved in magazine pictorials, there are basically only two that I fully grasp: nekkid and sports (or, the heaven sent combination of both).  

Enter a scantily clad super hottie in the form of Candice Swanepoel hoisting various sporting equipment, and color me somewhere a half mile past intrigued and well on my way to private time fantasy land. Harper's Bazaar, we of the unwashed masses do mightily approve. Enjoy.

Miranda Kerr Goes Bare Wicked Hot Bum for Harper’s Bazaar

I think you can tell by today's content that somebody got a whole lot of November edition ladies magazines in the mail recently. Yes, it's my time of the month, as it were, when I step outside my pied-à-terre, suffer the slings and arrows (literally) of the neighborhood boys who mock me, and snatch my monthly fairer sex fashion magazines from atop my 'I'm Lonely, Come Inside' doormat, and scour through the pages of enticing ladies for ladies action, not to mention smelling the perfume samples and learning less painful ways to bikini wax my taint. It's all good.

But never so good as when Miranda Kerr appears, covered nekkid and flashing her bum on the pages of Harper's Bazaar. So hot, Miranda puts the big 'F' in MILFtastic, turning even a fashion spread designed to put women further into credit card debt into a wonderful afternoon ogle for any man with even the hint of sight. Miranda stuns at every turn. At least, something is making me tingle. Enjoy.

Beyonce Decked Out and All Kinds of Curvy Sexy in Harper’s Bazaar

If you look for just a moment at these super sextastic dolled-up photos of Beyonce in Harper's Bazaar UK, you too would likely feel the urge to make her 'with child' in as delightful a boot-knocking manner as possible. Beyonce is for all the guys out there who appreciate a woman with curves and a body that requires arms and hands and legs to cover all bases, not a woman you can wrap your single mitt around like a mop pole.

Here's to curvy, sexy, now preggo women like Beyonce, who represent for hourglass bodies, plump booties, strong legs, and something fierce and mysterious beneath their fashions. Enjoy.

Anne Hathaway Goes Classical Hottie for Harper’s Bazaar

Anne Hathaway is another one of our more popular '50-50' girls. Half of you want to make many babies with her, half of you don't get her at all. I'm kind of in the middle of the middle in that group; I find her pretty hot, though something about her tells me she might not make the best girlfriend (though, granted, my sensibilities in relationship and romantic matters are borderline retarded). Nevertheless, the girl looks pretty damn good in the July edition of Harper's Bazaar, where the serious thespian, with mega bonus points for going full topless in her last film, looks to be channeling some classic movie stars of the bygone era. Yep, high maintenance. Enjoy.