I like to check in every now and then with the Norsk and Svensk members of Big Brother Scandinavia just to make sure they are still being far more showy and naughty than their American counterparts in the boring show here on CBS. Yep, as the Magic-8 ball would say, It is Decidedly So.
I’ve never quite understood the point of the Big Brother show beyond actually the possibility of seeing girls getting nekkid in the showers and changing rooms and sneaking into guy’s beds for late night night vision sexcapades. Which is precisely what Big Brother Scandinavia is all about. Which makes it more than watchable, it’s downright recordable. I’m occasionally reminded that reality television doesn’t have to be completely awful, it just is by choice. Enjoy.
I used to rant way to much about how reality television shows such as Big Brother were far better overseas than they were in the U.S. Almost entirely because the international editions were just loaded with topless contestants and never-ending making of the sexy scenes on night vision cameras. That’s pretty much the entire show in places like Norway and Sweden which combine their Big Brother house for 2014 like friendly Scandinavians are apt to share.
And then everybody basically gets naked, takes lots of showers, and has lots of sex. I assume there’s a part to the show where everybody talks about why they’re doing so-and-so or flashing their beaver here and there, but talking is dramatically overrated. I guess my rant is back. But really, why on earth can’t we see this stuff in the U.S.? Crapastic TV only takes a half dozen topless girls in the shower to suddenly become epic. I’m done. Enjoy.
See More Big Brother Topless Goodness »
Oh, heavenly Friday, only by a mile perhaps the best day of the week, what with the anticipation and release factors involve. Though, I caution you, please do not do the release part until you’ve cleared the building, you don’t want that kind of rep around your place of work or study.
In the meanwhile, to help you feel clean again, how about Lilly from Big Brother Germany, a land where Big Brother voyeurism actually means something voyeruring, taking a shower and soaping up her hot nekkid form for the benefit of spying eyes everywhere. I’m not saying it’s a polite or gentlemanly thing to peep on a girl taking a shower, but if the cameras are rolling, what’s a man to do? Look away? Nay, sir, that’d be an insult to this fair haired Germanic beauty. Show your manners! Thank God It’s Funbags!
Check Out Lilly Nekkid and in Full Motion Video »
I’ve been accused by many of you for being obsessed with the large-breasted women on Big Brother Germany soaping and showering themselves on TV. And, I must say, those accusations hurt. It hurts just how well you know me!
I’ve grown somewhat tired of the diatribe about how reality shows are so much better overseas than in the U.S. where the only worthwhile segments are censored out so as not to offend people from 1635. I’ll never give up the fight, but I think I’ve now moved into mostly pure straight appreciation mode.
Appreciating Big Brother contestants like Bettie Ballhaus who loves herself a good shower. While I consider myself something of an environmentalist, I mean, I do throw my plastic bottles in the blue bin, I believe that there should be no limit to the amount of water girls like Bettie should be allowed to use in the shower. If she wanted to soap and rinse her funbags for 40 hours straight, fine. People on less fortunate continents can go without H20 for a while. Bettie’s boobtastic must be served. Enjoy.
Check Out the Uncensored Big Brother Shower Scene »
Oh, enough of me already whining like your mom about how reality shows are so much better overseas. We still have the Doritos Taco here and that ought to be enough to fuel our national pride. What we need, according to EgoReader ‘Vaughn’ is a whole lot more of Annina Ucatis, who we featured before in one of our reality show rants. Annina is the very big star of Big Brother Germany, Season 9, for, let’s say, her love of taking showers and the things she was washing in the shower.
Annina is hard to miss when she steps out of the shower. I could literally feel my Big Brother awaking. Check her out and then call your local cable operator and complain about something. Maybe things will change here, someday. Enjoy.
See More Big Brother Topless Goodness »
Forget all this competing on the world stage in education nonsense. As a nation, we will never be tops again until we figure out how to get bodacious bare boobs into our standard TV fare.
Yes, craptastic reality shows will always be banal and recycled and fake. But with the presence of some fabulous shower and bath and bedroom time funbags, they could become watchable. As they are in most of the rest of the world. Today, in Europe, where we sneak a peek at Amanda String on Denmark Big Brother and Annina Ucatis on Germany Big Brother, both showing us their big sisters. In Annina’s case, her mighty big sisters. Suddenly, crap has been turned into gold. That’s an impressive bit of alchemy our fair nation currently lacks.
Please, write your Congressperson or reality TV show producing neighbor. We need an upgrade badly. Enjoy.
Check Out Amanda Topless on Big Brother Denmark »
You know my long winded and tired rants about how reality shows are far better overseas than in the U.S. thanks to much more liberal views on nudity and sex on the small screen in foreign countries. But with all the evidence I’ve shown you, you’re probably just thinking to yourself, oh, that’s just liberal Europe, or the cultural norms of South America. Well, how about Africa.
Yep, even Big Brother Africa (which you probably didn’t even know existed. They’ve got the ladies from Nairobi and Ethiopia and six other African nations competing in their current season. And they love to take showers and baths. And the cameras just keep on rolling.
Come on, America. We can fall behind in math and reading, but if we lose out to the rest of the world in ta-ta’s on television, then I need to start asking how we can call ourselves a world leader any longer. Enjoy.
Check Out the Girls of Big Brother Africa Cleaning Up »