American Music Awards

Fergie Looked Good, Damn Leggy Good at the AMA’s

I’d be remiss if I didn’t give a special shoutout to Fergie and her rejuvenated gams of goodness performing at the 2041 American Music Awards. Let’s be honest, Fergie had been looking a little less than prime during her post baby time and end of world tours and whatever else was going on for much of last year. But consider the AMA’s her coming out, err, coming back party. Damn, she looked so good. Especially those long toned legs of her she showed off in many flexing positions singing whatever song I wasn’t listening to.

It’s easy to criticize somebody’s looks, but it’s far more fun and profitable to revel in their sextastic. Fergie is not only back, this may be the best I ever remember her looking. She’s sizzling. Oh to have those long legs wrapped around… never mind. I was going with a Nutcracker scenario probably not appropriate for our grade school readers. Thanks for the links, Highlights. Keep up the leggy fine work, Fergie. Enjoy.

Selena Gomez Chesty Goodness in Multiple Outfits at the 2014 American Music Awards

I would be remiss if I didn’t close out the coverage of the limply limp 2014 American Music Awards with my personal highlight of Selena Gomez flashing chesty goodness in multiple wardrobe changes for the red carpet, show performance, and just hanging with her hottie besties in the front row of the audience. Selena has definitely grown into her pop diva role and the various revealing and form fitting outfits that come with such a job responsibility. And, my oh my, did she look stellar.

I can’t say Selena and her nearly bared niblets were enough to make watching those AMA’s horrific, let alone her sing clearly intended for the Devil’s Midget, but it certainly helped. Te amo, Selena. One day we’ll match that minxy body of yours to the appropriate Justin-free mindset and we’ll really have a home run. Until then, a solid triple with your luscious doubles. Enjoy.

Jennifer Lopez, Charli XCX, Selena Gomez Highlight the 2014 American Music Awards Red Carpet Hotties

As usual, I’m forced to take back all my mockery of the musical craptastic that is the American Music Awards. As always, the 2014 version may be a celebration of some true auditory torture, but it remains one of the single biggest night of decked out Hollywood hotties goodness of the year. There’s something to be said for that. That thing is mostly just ‘thanks’. Wow, the process of sextastic pop divas and celebrity invites was just unending tonight.

Some of my favorites were Jennifer Lopez, just so smoking hot, Charli XCX ogle worthy for sure, Selena Gomez form fitting goodness, Kate Beckinsale, Heidi Klum, Kendall Jenner, Nicki Minaj, Zendaya Coleman and many more looking outrageously fine. Check out the ladies. If you watch the show, well, that’s on you. I’d keep it on mute, then you might have something to store in the visual vaults. Enjoy.

Aubrey O’Day, Taylor Swift, and Christina Aguilera Lead Our List of 2013 American Music Award Hotties

It’s getting tougher and tougher to sit through these American Music Awards every year. Either I’m getting older or the music’s getting worse. Or, both. But there’s no denying the AMA’s, along with the VMA’s and The Grammy’s, are the big three music award shows in terms of bringing out the pop music world hotties. Pretty much every top diva album seller is in the house and desperate to outshine their peers in sextastic appeal.

For me Aubrey O’Day and her chesty goodness made the evenings. The show definitely could’ve used a couple dozen more Aubreys, or at least her dress. Taylor Swift also looked pretty damn fine, as did Christina Aguilera, Rihanna, and newcomer Ariana Grande. Check out my picks, which include Lady Gaga, though mostly because she figured out how to win the Red Carpet even without being the most fetching lady in attendance. Enjoy.

Even Fat Christina Aguilera and Her BBW Funbags Could Not Save the 2012 American Music Awards from Suckitude

We try so hard to be positive here at Egotastic!. We really do, even if it means drinking cheap booze just to feel joy over some god-awful situation in the terrain that we cover. Heck, we’ll go there. But there’s really no saving the American Music Awards, which to be fair, have had decent moments in past years, but with the AMA creator Dick Clark no longer with us, well, it’s probably time to bury the award show as well.

Yeah, I’m the old man yelling at the kids to get off the lawn, but if the kids on my lawn are listening and watching and awarding this kind of craptastic musical fare, they deserve more than just a scolding. I was rooting for Christina Aguilera to get back into the closet, but like a baby’s head crowning into the new world, there’s no way they were going to get fat Christina back through that prop doorway. We tried to focus like a laser beam on her cleave, but forces of nature, most notably gravity, compelled us to gaze at her 1980′s NHL goon body and wonder how much raw material went into her costume and if it could have possibly been put to better use building refugee tent cities in war-torn distance lands.

That being said, we of course found some silver linings to the super-gray AMAs, in the form of Gwen Stefani, who marked her return to the album and concert circuit, Carrie Underwood, one of the biggest underrated hotties in the land, and Carly Rae Jepsen, who we think is cute, but admittedly mostly follow awaiting her alleged sex tape to leak.

All in all, the entire evening felt like a Village People reunion out at the airport Hilton cocktail lounge. And we missed sports for this!

Taylor Swift, Carrie Underwood, and Heidi Klum Heat Up 2012 American Music Awards Red Carpet

Now, by this time you know how we feel about the Grammys and the American Music Awards and pretty much all other music award shows and their relationship to good music — zero correlation. Truly. Really. Honestly. And we say that hardly as music snobs, just grown adult males for whom popular music left us long ago, or we left it, either way, we can’t stand it any more than a grade schooler can brussel sprouts. It’s not natural.

And, yet, there’s no denying that the ranks of the pop music world are filled with some of our favorite ladies of the sextastic, some performers, some just omnipresent celebs, all of whom do manage to turn the 2012 American Music Awards into hot-watchable television tonight.

Included in our list of girls who gave us happy wood tonight on the red carpet are Taylor Swift, Carrie Underwood, Heidi Klum, Stacy Keibler, Hayden Panettiere, Jenny McCarthy, and Kesha (what? yep, you heard us right, Kesha, she made herself over so much we got all worked up before we realized it was Kesha — let’s call this one misdirected boner). Enjoy.

Heidi Klum and Katy Perry Getting Sapphic For Our Favorite Moment of the AMA’s

Perhaps our first time being genuinely jealous of an obelisk-shaped award, but, oh, to be handled by both the uber-sextastic Heidi Klum and tease-bot Katy Perry, as the two handy girls become so consumed with passion their lips move toward one another. Okay, so maybe we’re projecting just a little, but, oh, my, my, if this doesn’t get you to sign up for the once a year Men Allowed day trip to the Isle of Lesbo, not sure what will. Enjoy.