We try so hard to be positive here at Egotastic!. We really do, even if it means drinking cheap booze just to feel joy over some god-awful situation in the terrain that we cover. Heck, we'll go there. But there's really no saving the American Music Awards, which to be fair, have had decent moments in past years, but with the AMA creator Dick Clark no longer with us, well, it's probably time to bury the award show as well.
Yeah, I'm the old man yelling at the kids to get off the lawn, but if the kids on my lawn are listening and watching and awarding this kind of craptastic musical fare, they deserve more than just a scolding. I was rooting for Christina Aguilera to get back into the closet, but like a baby's head crowning into the new world, there's no way they were going to get fat Christina back through that prop doorway. We tried to focus like a laser beam on her cleave, but forces of nature, most notably gravity, compelled us to gaze at her 1980's NHL goon body and wonder how much raw material went into her costume and if it could have possibly been put to better use building refugee tent cities in war-torn distance lands.
That being said, we of course found some silver linings to the super-gray AMAs, in the form of Gwen Stefani, who marked her return to the album and concert circuit, Carrie Underwood, one of the biggest underrated hotties in the land, and Carly Rae Jepsen, who we think is cute, but admittedly mostly follow awaiting her alleged sex tape to leak.
All in all, the entire evening felt like a Village People reunion out at the airport Hilton cocktail lounge. And we missed sports for this!
Aubrey O’Day, Taylor Swift, and Christina Aguilera Lead Our List of 2013 American Music Award Hotties
It's getting tougher and tougher to sit through these American Music Awards every year. Either I'm getting older or the music's getting worse. Or, both. But there's no denying the AMA's, along with the VMA's and The Grammy's, are the big three music award shows in terms of bringing out the pop music world hotties. Pretty much every top diva album seller is in the house and desperate to outshine their peers in sextastic appeal.
For me Aubrey O'Day and her chesty goodness made the evenings. The show definitely could've used a couple dozen more Aubreys, or at least her dress. Taylor Swift also looked pretty damn fine, as did Christina Aguilera, Rihanna, and newcomer Ariana Grande. Check out my picks, which include Lady Gaga, though mostly because she figured out how to win the Red Carpet even without being the most fetching lady in attendance. Enjoy.
TAYLOR SWIFT ALSO MADE THE CUT ON LAST YEAR'S AMA HOTTIES LIST