Stupid Crap Sold On Coupon Sites: Beardski Ski Masks

I'm not a skier myself but I do admire it. That's because I tried to do it once and all I ended up doing was falling on my ass repeatedly. So, anybody with the skill to stay upright is better than me, at least in this respect. It definitely gets cold up on those mountains and it is important to dress appropriately. But do you have to look like a giant tool while you keep warm? Apparently so. Behold the horror of the Beardski Ski Mask. It is a mask, hat, and giant beard combo that is guaranteed to keep your face warm while simultaneously making you look like one of those rednecks from Duck Dynasty. The Groupon listing says,

"The modern world is full of innovations that help us through tough winters: high-tech jackets shield our bodies from the snow, touchscreen-friendly gloves keep our fingers warm when texting, and contoured, vented ski masks ensure our exes can't recognize us on the ski slopes. But with all this technology, we've forgotten about nature's ski mask: the beard. With Beardski ski masks, men and women alike can go back to basics by warming their faces with the rugged whiskers of an old-timey mountain man. You'll look right at home when you hit the slopes, and even more at home when you start guzzling moonshine and biting soft nuggets of gold to test their worth."

It comes in a variety of colors too. You can get it in Muppet fur orange for a natural look.