editor - February 1, 2012
Star magazine says that 'Jersey Shore' star Snooki (image not available) is secretly pregnant. Except, you know, for it being on the internet. And newsstands.
The pint-sized reality star and her boyfriend of a year, Jionni LaValle, are expecting their first child.
"She is pregnant and has only told her closest friends and some family."
So here it is. Day Zero. The day we find out if time travel will ever be possible, since the future us will almost certainly send a robot back to kill Snooki and stop our plunge into darkness, just like in Terminator but the other way around.
CONFLICTING UPDATE: Snooki was on Opie and Anthony this morning and denied being pregnant. Probably to trick the robots.
FUN FACT: robots are made when a girl masturbates with a vibrator.