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Satanic Temple To Turn Fred Phelps’ Zombie Gay

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bill-swift - March 20, 2014

Lucien Greaves, the head of the Satanic Temple in New York, has vowed to turn Westboro Baptist Church founder Fred Phelps, Sr. gay when he dies. The controversial a-hole leader of the hate filled anti-gay church is apparently on his death bed. The WBC is notorious for picketing the funerals of soldiers and famous people with their anti-gay rhetoric. Last year Greaves conducted a "Pink Mass" over the grave of Phelps' dead mother to turn her into a lesbian in the afterlife. Greaves has vowed to do the same with Phelps.

"After having two same-sex couples (one male, one female) engage in homoerotic activity at the grave site, we declared Fred Phelps's mother a post-mortem homosexual conversion. At the time, I predicted that Fred hadn't too much longer till he would pass, and I stated –- in a direct tweet to the WBC -– that I would be presiding over Fred's own Pink Mass before too long. As I have made a promise to a dying man, I fully intend to do my very best to see it through, and the pomp and circumstance of this Pink Mass will surely far, far exceed that of the original event in Meridian, Mississippi."

I have every hope that the Satanic Temple will be successful in their mission to show Phelps that being gay is OK. Being sodomized by some rough trade demons is probably Phelps' personal hell anyway. I want them to bring him back as a zombie and take him to gay clubs. Are there such things as zombie gay clubs? Probably.

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