CELEBRITY

Police Rush To Pete Davidson After Possible Suicide Threat

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Sam Robeson - December 17, 2018

 

Just in case anyone was wondering if celebs are more deserving of our resources than normies. This weekend ugly ass son of a bitch butthole eyes vampire Pete Davison posted something suicide-y that was just an average Tuesday for a suicidal Slenderman-worshiping tween Tumblr girl, but because he's Pete Davidson - known national treasure - police rushed to his location at the NBC studios in New York City (this went down Saturday night before Saturday Night Live). In an Instagram post, Davidson alluded to ending his life with:

I’m doing my best to stay here for you but I actually don’t know how much longer I can last. All I’ve ever tried to do was help people. Just remember I told you so.

This was enough to prompt the NYPD to track down our damsel in duress. He was fine. He also deleted his Instagram account shortly after. If even one act of actual crime or self-harm occurred in New York City on Saturday night, then Davidson really should kill himself. And the police officers should kill themselves. Everyone should kill themselves. Because a world in which an entitled rich celebrity with more than adequate access to mental health services commands the valuable time of police officers - while bipolar af homeless people continue to suffer in absolute Fentanyl-fueled squalor - isn't one worth living in. Goodbye cruel world. Let's see if I can get the Chicago PD to save me from myself.*

*JK Chicago PD I'm fine! I just hate Pete Davidson.

Photo Credit: Twitter

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