Paula Abdul’s Problem With The Lakers

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elliot-wolf - September 18, 2017

With women's equality day so fresh in our minds from August, it's hard not to read a story about a woman getting shafted. Mostly because videos of that sort of thing are more convenient and omnipresent on the internet. The patriarchy struck again and this time their target was Paula Abdul. The Los Angeles Lakers decided to celebrate the dying franchise by retiring Kobe Bryant's jersey numbers. Pre-rape and post-rape. Is it any coincidence that two of the greatest Lakers to grace the court suck when it comes to scoring in the hole off the court. HIV or a ruined reputation for forcing your way into the hole without consent. Pick your poison. Either way having millions of dollars made both of their problems disappear. Sort of. Except for Paula's problem. She was head Laker cheerleader and is wondering why her jersey is in a Staples stadium utility closet somewhere instead of next to other Laker elites up top.

Paula became the HEAD of the Laker Girls when she was only 19 years old and led them to become the greatest cheerleading squad in pro sports during an epic 6-year run! 

Cheerleading isn't an easy task I will admit. But synchronized Pom Pom swinging doesn't deserve an ESPN greatest of all time highlights reel. Or a jersey at the top of the stadium. It's almost the same mentality that leads people to believe poker and beer pong are actual athletic accomplishments. Yes, it may be possible to tear an ACL in beer pong. But also there is no rule stating you must attempt to slam dunk the ping pong ball into a SOLO cup from the roof of your buddy's house. Have a seat on the sideline with Paula. 

Photo Credit: Splash News

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