Go on George Clooney. Go get married. I’m happy delving into the trail of the forgotten, at least, that you have forgotten. Incredible hotties like Italian model Elisabetta Canalis. We’ve been drooling over Elisabetta for several years now. I’m not sure if it’s her crazy hot looks or that killer body or the little outfits she prefers to model, such as this Lormar lingerie shoot, but the entire package is working for me.
Elisabetta, if you were my girl, I’d treat you like a princess. I mean, literally, probably hide you in a high tower that only I can visit. I am rather possessive, but, thankfully, I have a very short attention span. It would be the best fifteen minutes of castle tower confinement you have ever known. Just so hot. Enjoy.
I’ll say this for Sports Illustrated, much like Victoria’s Secret they’ve built out and expanded a list of bathing suit hotties worldwide that we might not otherwise ever come to know. Hannah Davis for instance, who we first met in the SI Swimsuit Edition. Now, modeling up a sextastic storm as in this see-through pictorial for Zink magazine. See-through is the new not see-through and I definitely like where this trend is headed. Yes, you’re wearing clothes, and, yes, we can see your faptastic funbags. It’s the perfect blend of not getting arrested in public while still giving the gentleman ogler a nice libido palate cleanser.
Hannah Davis, I have my eyes on you. I can’t really help it. It’s just one of my natural reflexes. Please, don’t ever wear a bra ever again. This is my wish for world peace. Enjoy.
We really fell head over heels when first we topless met model Maggie Duran and her hot body of work. Now, we get another peek at the beautiful peaks of Maggie and a couple of her model friends showing off their goodies in this blessedly visually hot photoshoot from Henrik Purienne which I believe was for Lui Magazine last winter. I can’t help but feel the models I try to invite to my private studio for shoots would take me more seriously if I had a cool artist sounding name like that. I’m pretty sure parents last word of advice before shipping their hot daughters off to the big city is ‘never trust a man named Bill’. Such horrible stereotyping. I blame Clinton.
Maggie Duran is one of those naturally stunning brunettes for whom I’d shank any of you in the shower for five minutes of conjugal time. She could actually join me four minutes into it and I think it’d still just about be the right timing. Maggie, despite your early entry with such wonderful exhibition, we need to see much more of you. Please, shoot shoot shoot away. You are quite the lovely. Enjoy.
See More Maggie Duran Topless Goodness »
As the old saying goes, you don’t want to know how the sausage is made, you just want to taste it off the grill. I may have added that last part, but it certainly seems apropos to Kim Kardashian and her moneymaker behind when packed into a skirt so tight, the inventors of the fabric ought to win some kind of Nobel award for manufacturing achievement.
Kim was out filming her reality show in West Hollywood and I suppose was only being shot from the front, as her entire bra was exposed in the back, albeit that’s also where her million dollar butt-baby was stationed, so I’m not exactly sure what the E! camera instructions are. Either way, let’s be honest, Kim’s ginormous seat cans are impressive to the layman and the cleric both. She may be one of the most hated women in poll after poll, but there’s nary a man alive who wouldn’t like to try and scale Mount Butt-Everest at some point around midnight on a Saturday. Enjoy.
Australian model Jessica Hart was looking hot as F in this photoshoot in New York City. Jessica wore a variety of outfits that all showed her summer style, namely lot’s of skin. Of particular interest is the crop top sundress looking thing. Her bare-midriff is outrageous. She should seriously have that thing insured for a lot of money in case her abdomen ever gets a scratch on it. That’s how perfect it is. Her sheer red dress is also nice as you can pretty much see all the way through it. Summer is a lovely time of year here in NYC and her outfits say why: sundresses. Is there anything sexier than a sundress clinging ever so lightly to a woman’s body through a thing layer of sweat? I think not. Especially if that girl happens to look like Jessica Hart.
I do enjoy Australian girls. There is something about that accent that makes my Crocodile Dundee stand up and say gooday.
B-movie actress and large chested person Phoebe Price had a bit of a wardrobe malfunction while walking in Calabasas the other day. Phoebe was sporting a crop top blousey shirt that showed off her lovely bare-midriff. That alone would have been enough to get my attention. Her pretty freckled stomach is fairly amazing. But the wind was blowing on that faithful day just as the photogs were taking her picture. A sudden gust blew up her shirt and showed the whole world her bra and part of her amazing ta-tas. These things are a sight to behold. They are like two over ripe freckly melons. I do love a good wardrobe malfunction. It’s like an unexpected treat when clothing turns on its owner and causes havoc. It was perhaps a bad idea on her part to wear a cropped blousey shirt on a windy day. Then again, maybe she wants us to have an eye full of her funbags?
Whatever the case I know that I enjoyed seeing her bra and look forward to many more wardrobe malfunctions in the future.
Now that Jessica Alba has fully immersed herself in motherhood and the business she launched related therein, you simply won’t find her showing off much in public anymore. Not that she was exactly an exhibitionist before, but now she’s got a couple million moms trusting her mommy opinion on products and services and she has to be a little more stately in her appearance. I know, I cried too when I first realized this new status quo for Jessica.
Nevertheless, you can run, but you can’t hide the headlights just dying to be noticed for the paparazzi cameras on a big trip to New York. It’s not the least bit cold in the Big Apple so I’m going to assume Jessica’s nipples were just excited to be out on the town, in the big city, reaching toward the Empire State building and other altitude attractions with zeal and fervor. Jessica may never let them out to play in public, but out they will come nonetheless. Free the nipple — or they shall free themselves! Enjoy.