Joanna Krupa Bikini Body Continues To Be Killer in Blue

I can't imagine what it would be to live next door to Joanna Krupa. I'm not saying that I would be peeking over my fence daily with binoculars, because there'd probably be a couple days a year when I might be away, but most every day most certainly. How could you not be leering at the hot neighbor lady in her bikinis by the pool seemingly endlessly preening about in her yard, not so much building any suntan as merely showing the world how she's clearly the hottest housewife in the fold.

Ah, the life of a model and wife and business woman in the business of being hot. I surely do admire Joanna, beginning with her bum and working out from there. Every adventure needs a starting point. Enjoy.

Be the Most Stylish Soldierly Badass You Can be With New ‘Call of Duty: Ghosts’ Customization DLC (VIDEO)

Call of Duty Ghosts Customization
Just what we've always wanted.

FPS games, more than any other genre, love them some frivolous DLC. For just a few of your Earth dollars, you too can proudly sport an assault rifle with a ghastly-ass shocking pink color scheme. Can you really put a price on that? If you’re EA or Activision or some other bunch of bastards, you certainly can.

Some of us like these sorts of shenanigans. Others think it’s terrible money-grabbing BS, and cry to their grandmas/the Internet when such DLC arises. If you’re in the latter group, avert your eyes now, because there’s a heaping helping of it coming your way.

Apparently, this sort of crap is so bowel-looseningly exciting, it needs its own trailer. Behold Call of Duty: Ghosts’ new customization options above. The Captain Price Legends Pack, which brings the series stalwart back to life, is a tempting proposition. The ‘Ducky’ skin, complete with rubber duck reticle, is not.

Still, they’re having some fun and nabbing a little more of our hard-earned cashtastic with this. That’s what counts. Apparently.

Jennifer Nicole Lee Can’t Keep Her Bikinis From Falling Off Her Hot Mommy Body

Ah, the troubled tying skills of BBW turned MILFtastic fitness Jennifer Nicole Lee as once more her bathing suit seems to be falling away from her lower body and nearly flashing her lady nest to the family audience around her Miami resort pool. I don't remember seeing quite such sights at the community pool I used to be dropped off at three months out of the year and told not to drown and ask strangers for food. Floaters were the least of the concerns at that public basin.

Jennifer Nicole Lee may be, um, arranging her wardrobe malfunctions, but there's no doubt her butt and toned body are must-sees as her bikinis come on and nearly off as she parades about the waterways and beaches of South Florida. I mean, there's a tease and then there's a tease you wake up extra early and head to the pool to make sure you don't miss. I'm mostly just very happy for the pubescent boys in the area. Lucky bastards. Enjoy.

Anais Mali French Model Hotness Celebrates Bring a Topless Friend to the Beach Day in Miami


There we were, staking out the super fine skinny young French model Anais Mali along the strip in Miami Beach when out of nowhere, her far more round-bodied friend whips off her bikini top and starts prancing around on the beach. How very French. I would have complained to the authorities, but as it turns out, I happen to have a small bit of affection for funbags, so instead I just noted her for a recommendation to the city council for civic heroes.

I wouldn't necessarily suggest that everybody get nekkid on Miami Beach, we do need to think of the children who might see bare breasts and grow up to become something horrible like a serial killer or a politician or something. And it would have been nice if Anais would've stripped out of her tiny bikini for show a little something something for her fans, but bringing along a showoff friend is not the worst thing you can do at the beach. Thought it is clearly one of the best. Enjoy.

Miley Cyrus Thrusts, Jiggles, and Twerks During Her L.A. Concert Stops

You know it's going to be big when the talk of the town pop star brings her act to Los Angeles. All the celebrities came out to be part of the media sensation of the Miley Cyrus Bangerz tour. It's sort of taken the place of Lakers games as the place to be seen. You might say Staples Center hasn't seen this much fouling since Kobe took his leave. But that's a horrible horrible joke.

I'll say this for Miley Cyrus, she answers all the people who will say 'just ignore her' by making herself impossible to ignore. You can love it or not, and her music, egads, but Miley is not only taking theatrical stage adult play to a whole new level, she's backing up her near sex-on-stage routines by actually taking her clothes off in magazines. This separates her from a number of other pop divas who tease for the money. So, I applaud Miley, and I will in fact stare at her twerking arse in all her silly costumes. Because I respect the art, err, whatever that is. Enjoy.

Here's a 30-second concert documentary I made for Bangerz, expressing my deep feelings:

Hilary Duff: Short Skirt and Tight Parking Spot Visual Wonderment

You've got to hate it when you've got a big Porsche and only a small parking spot at your private gym. Unless you're just watching Hilary Duff try to maneuver in and out of her sweet parked ride in an really short skirt on her way to a sweaty workout.

The former TV starlet seems to have picked the wrong outfit for wiggling around in tight quarters, or the perfect outfit if the goal is to tease and tantalize her ogling audience with a high leg show and potential peeps of what lies further beneath. Hilary is looking might good these days, I suppose it has something to do with her rigorous workout routine, and that tiny little parking space. Enjoy.

Taylor Momsen Taped Up Frontal or Jessica Alba Down Top Jigglers, Which Do I Yearn For More?

Do you know me?  Do you really know me? I'm not sure anybody besides my mom, my psychic, and my obese cat, Mr. Wonderful, really know me inside and out. For instance, if given the choice between being the man who gets to remove the tape from the body of young punky bad girl Taylor Momsen or being able to motorboat Jessica Alba and her fine mommy at the park knockers, which would I choose?

No, this is not a trick question. It is one of these two most delicious and individually dreamy options. I will reveal my answer at the end of the day on Egotastic! Facebook. That's called a tease. And not a very deft one at that. Enjoy.