Jennifer Lopez, Nicki Minaj, Kelly Rowland and More Hotties at the 2014 Billboard Music Awards

The Billboard Music Awards was a veritable bevy of hotness. Nicki Minaj and her giant ta-tas were on full display. She has got to be in the top 5 most gargantuan melons on Earth right now. My hometown girl Kelly Rowland was wearing what is essentially a sports bra. I remember seeing Kelly and her girls back in Houston in the 90's. Those sweater puppies helped me through puberty. My girl Jennifer Lopez was also on hand wearing a sheer see through skirt and a tiny pair of short shorts. J-Lo's legs are friggin dynamite. That is what arroz con pollo does, god bless it. Kylie and Kendall Jenner were also there looking hot as F. Kylie had a top that was basically a glorified bikini top. One of my childhood crushes, Danica Mckeller, attended as well. She brings back memories of me sitting and staring lustfully at The Wonder Years.

One of the main reasons I want to become famous is so I can go to events like this. Besides the beach, the red carpet is the best place to ogle celebs.

Bella Thorne Bikini Pictures Candid Pink Madness in Miami

If I told you I had thirty-seven righteous candid beach fun time bikini pictures of Disney starlet Bella Thorne, you probably wouldn't believe me. I don't quite believe me either. But, there they are, in pink and what you might call cute as a button. We've seen Bella Thorne bikini pictures before, sort of, but never quite like this most certainly.

I was going to mention that Bella seems to be grooving right past the standard Disney starlet trajectory, but thinking about, she is just about on par with Miley and Selena in terms of the bikinis with the boyfriend on the beach prancing visuals. It's almost like clockwork. If you were highly compelled to check out thirty-seven pictures of clocks. I have none of those, just Bella being bellisima in a pink bikini in 360-degrees of splash. Enjoy.

Coco Topless Candids From Her Vanity Vixens Burlesque Show

 

Thanks to our good buddy Igor at DrivenByBoredom.com (and to Widget on Twitter) for his personal snaps of Coco in her more memorable moment of her burlesque show. And, by memorable, we don't mean her song and dance routines. We mean topless. At some point in the show, Coco does remove her sparkly top to reveal her even more sparkly funbags. We couldn't be more pleased, or eye strained.

Coco isn't exactly a shy girl when it comes to body exhibition, but she does usually manage to keep her chestal goodies in some kind of containment. Not today, good people of Egotastic land. Feast your eyes upon Coco's tremendous teats and just imagine the roar of your motoroboat engines revving well into the dangerous red gauge zone. I'm in the same dream at the moment, so if you see me, do say 'hi'. Quietly please. Enjoy.

Photo credit: Driven By Boredom for the Village Voice

Maite Perroni Knows How to Look Damn Incredible in a Bikini and Less for GQ

There's a secret the sextasic Mexican girls have on how to allure a man. No, I don't know the secret, then it wouldn't be a secret. But I know it exists. Not on faith, but on pure tingle factor whilst ogling telenovela and singing star Maite Perroni in the new edition of GQ Mexico. Wow, she looks mighty fine.

As you know, I'm a sucker for all things super hot and Latina. Well, not just that, but that for sure. Maite reminds me of all the smoking hot bitch slapping senoritas of my favorite Mexican soaps. Only, she's in a bikini, or less, and making me feel the slap of the most prurient kind. Maite, you are ridiculously hot. Let's siesta together some time. Now works for me. Enjoy.

Destiny Dixon Loses Her Bikini Top Just in Time for the Cameras in Malibu

 

You know, I never question what anybody does to pay the rent. Unless they're an adult film star, then I have tons of questions. Not moral mind you. More like, could you show me how you did that thing with your legs above the crocodile tank with those guys? Destiny Dixon would have me asking a whole bunch of questions given her body of work, or, work of her body. But today I'm mostly just glad her bikini top came off during this provocative bikini photo shoot in Malibu.

Now, there happen to be many mature themed film stars living and hanging about Malibu. We're rarely fortunate enough to see them actually baring their bodacious bodies on the beach, More often seen wearing sunglasses in the produce section at Ralph's. So this is a treat indeed. A pornoriffic sweet teat treat. Bless you, Destiny. Enjoy.

Hanalei Reponty Bikini Butt and Other Fine Things to Ogle

Amanda Seyfried Ta-Tas
The actress' deep cleave will leave you drooling Read More »
Funbags for Days
Sometimes, a girl's just gotta create her own fun Read More »
Iggy Azalea Butt
The Aussie shows us what's really going on down under Read More »

Hanalei Reponty is wet, wild and foxy all over (Drunken Stepfather)

Amanda Seyfriend's cleavage has me drooling a million ways 'til Sunday (Popoholic)

Iggy Azalea booty popping pops seams (Hollywood Tuna)

Let's all just go skinny-dipping (TMZ)

Nina Dobrev bringing the leg show to upfronts (Starpulse)

Helena Christensen remembers her bra but forgets her shirt (FOX)

They don't call them funbags for nothing (The Chive)

One Word Movie Reviews: GODZILLA

Plodding.