Jaclyn Swedberg Covered Topless Hotness for Water Pimping Time

I'd pay to watch Jaclyn Swedberg fill out her taxes. She's so hot. The chance to see her covered topless and her butt cheeks scrunching around tiny bottoms to pimp this mysteriously nowhere 138 Water, well, an opportunity missed is an opportunity you should kick yourself in the ass for, or something like that.

At some point, I need to start a fake product venture of my own requiring the daily involvement of super sextastic models taking off their tops. I mean, I've already got Egotastic!, a venture established for nearly that same identical purpose. But maybe something like a teddy bear company that will really get the girls to let their guard down, if not their tops and bottoms. Bill's Sweet Teddys, featuring promotional photoshoots with over 100 nekkid models and their little furry friends, and I'm not talking about the teddy bears. This could be good. Enjoy.

Nina Agdal Swimwear Perfection for Leonisa

While not quite as stunning to see Nina Agdal not having a bare-boobed wardrobe malfunction, you get to understand why the Danish Delight is one of the hottest beachwear modeling commodities in the world these days checking out her finished product in the Leonisa swimwear catalog. You might see any number of attractive women along the sandy shores of any land, but very few that come out as smoking hot in photographs. It's a special quality you either have or don't have, and when you have it, you're internationally famous, like Nina.

Ever since the day we first injured ourselves staring into the Agdal spectacle, we knew Nina would reach heights of greatness in her perfection. Of course, we also believe fervently that Nina would reach heights of ecstasy in our boudoirs. Still waiting on that latter. As for the former, signed, sealed, and delivered with sextastic catalog pictorial time after time. I'd give Nina a job if I had the chance. Enjoy.

Anais Zanotti Performs the Trifecta of Skating, Covered Topless, and Popsicle Suck in Miami

Talk about game. French styled stunt woman and model Anais Zanotti has got some. Some women might suffice to be ogled in their bikinis along the beach in Miami. Not Anais. She added some scoring elements to her repertoire, including the addition of a skateboard, changing out of her clothes into a bikini to ride her skateboard for no apparent reason other than visual benevolence, and, naturally, the popsicle suck. It was like watching a symphony of exhibitionist goodness. If she had gone for the wet t-shirt or the bending over to pick up dropped items on the ground, it almost would've been too much, though, naturally never enough.

Yes, this is staged. So is your girlfriend or wife slipping into something naughty for Valentine's Day. Men don't complain about staged, just when things are absent. Bless you, Anais. Enjoy.

Kendall Jenner Shows Off Her Nipples on Instagram…. And So It Begins

You'll have to click through to the story to see the see-through top photo. Even though Kendall Jenner is now an adult by law, and an adult by Kardashian standards for more than five years, I figured for her first nipple peek we'd leave it off the homepage. You know, in case her high school classmates are watching, Just kidding, obviously.

I will say this about Kendall Jenner, she photographs extremely well. She's tall, she's lean, and if this first photo is any indication of her new found barely legal professional status, she's going to well surpass her sisters in terms of legit magazine modeling by a factor of ten thousand million infinity something. Enjoy.

(Thanks to a bunch of you who emailed, Tweeted, and alerted us to Kendall's first masterpiece.)

Alice Goodwin Topless Return to Barely There Lingerie Boobtastic Glory

 

Something about Alice Goodwin just screams -- naughty fun time. Maybe it's the raven haired locks, or that body imported directly from my libido, or perhaps the way she seems to wear lingerie as a mere prelude to not wearing any lingerie. It just works for me.

Thanks to our friends at Zoo magazine for recognizing that mysterious brunettes with supremely hot funbags make for a lovely midweek visual snack. The kind of snack don't need to clean up after, at least not until your buddies inquire about why your couch is such a mess and you get to tell them precisely why. Enjoy.

(Be sure to check out Alice Goodwin in her ZooToday BTS Video for this crazy hot photoshoot.)

Tati Neves Bikini Pictures for a New Brazilian Heroine

There's no sense in delaying matters when fifteen minutes of fame are all you might have in this world. So it is that the Devil's Midget's Brazilian hooker Tati Neves is back in black, well, white, as in a bikini, showing off for the cameras and capitalizing on her new found fame.

I'd be lying if I didn't say Tati has a rather fetching female figure, and I do love pleather couches, though I'm hard pressed to wonder where she'll take this next. Then again, in a post-Kardashian world, I'm never again saying 'no way she can turn that into millions'. Enjoy.

Jennifer Lawrence and Elizabeth Banks So Hot They Almost Make Out on the Red Carpet for Catching Fire L.A. Premiere

Maybe much of that was in my imagination last night, but when Jennifer Lawrence and Elizabeth Banks both showed up to the L.A. premiere of Hunger Games: Catching Fire looking so incredibly hot, I just figured they were going to start making out on the red carpet. In my mind, all hot women just start swapping spit with one another because they can't control their Sapphic passions.

Sadly, it did not come to fruition last night at the film premiere, though individually, Jennifer and Elizabeth both struck quite the visually inspiring poses for the paparazzi. I've already committed to seeing this film simply on the basis of Jennifer Lawrence in a tight body suit. That's worth the three dollars I pay my faithful usher Stewart to let me in the back door of the theater. Enjoy.