Holy Sh’t, That’s Crappy: Dog Poop Soap

How do you feel about washing your hands with dog poop after spending some time on the crapper? Sounds disgusting, I know, but only for the faint of heart. Dog Poop Soap exists and it's probably one of the grossest blobs (because sh't obviously ain't a bar) of soap you'll ever come across. It's perfect for pranks and for giving your girl a heart attack, but rest easy knowing that there's no harm done in the end: despite it's appearance, the soap is chocolate scented so you can actually use it after pulling your prank.

Get It: $9

Maitland Ward Sweaty Stretchy See-Through Bouncy Boobtastic Workout

Well hello there Maitland Ward and those sweet sweaty yams. Maitland not only seems super flexible and like one awesome girlfriend, she boxes and lifts and poses and crunches and does a bunch of other cliche workout moves that make me wonder if she's not just putting on a bit of a show. Like I care. Wet see through tank tops and braless workouts for busty girls is one excellent combination.

We seem to be seeing more and more of Maitland recently. I mean that both in frequency and skin. This has to mean she's getting up to something good. Hopefully, something good and nekkid. Those big twin sisters need to be exposed for the blessing of gentlemen oglers everywhere. I can only imagine the full sweetness. Enjoy.

Leanna Decker Topless Hot Striptease Will Tingle Your Very Soul


I'm not sure how you make a gorgeous looking hot bodied woman taking off her stripety top any hotter, but if I has to make a rough guess, I'd say by giving her a ginger top like scarlet icing on the sextastic cake.

Seeing wicked scrumptious Leanna Decker stripping out of her clothes is truly a religious experience. I feel incredibly guilty, heavily filled with the spirit, and I just know I'm going to be rushing to find some thoughtful reflection time when it's over. She really is one alluring put together woman. I'm almost kind of giddy here, like a schoolboy seeing his first girlie magazine. I mean, after I sold it to them as I did back in middle school. Everybody needs to make a buck, everyone wants to feel a thrill. I served both needs. As Leanna Decker serves our needs today. Her version is much nicer. Enjoy.

Mellisa Clarke Naturally Naughty Ta-Ta Throwdown With Nicole Neal With the Sextastic Appeal


It's time for the weekly Battle of the Boobtastic. That moment each week when we celebrate the finest of the funbags by pitting two of them, make that, four of them, against each other in a competition for Funion supremacy. It's not always civil, but it's always super hot.

This week's battle pits the peaches of au natural goth hottie Mellisa Clarke and her brunette bangs against the banging hot body of blonde goddess Nicole Neal. It pains me to think of either of them going home unhappy with the results of a boob judging contest, but judge you must. Making attractive women cry is your sacred duty. So, in your expert opinion, whose ta-ta's reign supreme?

Battle of the Boobtastic: Mellisa Clarke vs. Nicole Neal

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Thus Spoke Mega Man

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When I was a pissed off angsty teenager in the early to mid-90's I read a lot of the writings of Frederich Nietzsche. That's how big of a dork I was. My way of being rebellious was to read 19th century German Nihilist philosophy. Or is Nietzsche really a Nihilist? Some people say no others say yes. The truth is that Nietzsche is a little hard to understand...OK, it's really hard to understand. You have to have a knowledge of Hegel, Christianity, Kierkegaard, Wagner, Plato, and philology. Luckily, as president of my high school philosophy society, I did. Like I said, I was a huge friggin' dork. I was also an avid video game player and I ascribed all kinds of philosophical ideas to Final Fantasy or Legend of Zelda. But I only vaguely understood what the hell I was talking about. What does a punk 17 year old upper middle class Latino kid in suburban Texas know about anything? Nothing. Hey, like Nietzsche thought eternity was like!

I wish I had had Mega Man to explain it to me like in this video. Here comes the übermench!

Nikki Lund Bikini Boobtastic Big and Bold in Malibu

Nikki Lund is a fashion designer who I'd claim is a bikini model first and foremost. It doesn't really matter what your day job is when you look like Nikki in a bikini on the beaches in Los Angeles. It's like LeBron James calling himself a fisherman. Nope. You're a baller. And, you, Nikki, are a bikini landmark.

Nikki was on the beach in Malibu flaunting her assets and acting as if one thousand men weren't virtually undressing her with their eyes, if not other sensory organs. I've always wondered if women can actually feel it telekinetically when the number of gentleman oglers with prurient thoughts reaches a certain number. Does your skin feel a warmth? Sadly, I shall never know what the receiving end feels like. I can tell you, the giving end is really quite pleasant and tingly. Good show, Nikki. Thank you. Enjoy.

Iggy Azalea Tosses Her Assasaurus around the O2 Arena

Iggy Azalea has quite the bottom thing going on. I'm not sure by what means that beast came to be born, but it's an epic keester that Iggy uses like a weapon when she's on stage entertaining the people who like her music, and maybe her curvy body as well. Put me in the camp of the latter. I'm not sure I could do 90 minutes of screaming kids and uninspired music, but I could do 90 hours of staring at her thumper and imagining the possibilities. If her rumored sex tape comes out, I might have to make that 90 days.

Iggy Azalea has certainly propelled herself to the top of the charts in a rather short amount of time. At least since we first met here. The larger that butt monster of hers grows, the more her popularity may continue to rise. There's some mathematical equation I'm sure that explains this. Enjoy.