Thank God It’s Funbags! Chanelle Hayes Black Lingerie Striptease for the Perfect Undressed Occasion

 

I have this recurring dream where someday I have a son and he gets to that age when he comes to me and asks if there's anything more important in life than a perfectly fine pair of funbags on a gorgeous woman. Then I laugh and punch him in the shoulder. Not hard enough to be abusive, but just hard enough to let him know I don't appreciate ignorance.

As we reach the culmination of our week, we celebrate the very essence of blissful visual exhibitions of the chesty variety. Chanelle Hayes adds to her repertoire of just such stunning wonderments with her new black lingerie topless pictorial in Nuts magazine. When I see, nay, leer for hours upon, the fineries of girls like Chanelle, I feel my world coming into balance and my chakra getting all tingly. It's how I know we're all going to be okay. The future looks grand. Am I exaggerating on behalf of the power of the boobtastic? I am not, my son. Thank God It's Funbags!

Selena Gomez Shows Some Cleavage (and Some Smokes)

My poor belusted Selena Gomez. I have to think the minxy Latin pop star is not quite over The Devil's Midget who is clearly on a bee line for Satan's hometown with his current behavior. The stress has our lovely little brunette picking up smokes, which I must admit took me a while to notice since I was mostly staring at her atypical display of cleavage in public.

I just want to grab Selena and give her a hug and maybe cover her petite female form in honey and tell her everything is going to be fine. Then, we shall make sweet desperate love while we try to forget all of our troubles. Technically, since I'll be making sweet desperate love with Selena Gomez, I will not longer have any troubles, but I'll listen to hers and pretend I understand. Te, amo, Selena. Enjoy.

Danielle Knudson Is Pure Canuckian Heat for Guess Denim

Egotastic! absorbs heat anywhere we can find it. I mean, assuming it doesn't involve too much work. We all have our limitations. But within the realm of semi-ambitious lusters of hot women, we do keep our eyes open for the sextastic in all quarters. Including advertising for the ladies, when it includes blonde hotties like Danielle Knudson, Canadian blonde bombshell, showing off her sweet body.

Danielle is featured in the Spring and Summer collection for Guess Denium, showing off the new line of what you'll see all the fashionable mall girls wearing come April. And, lest you think Danielle's beauty might be the byproduct of photographic artifice, we found a few Polaroids of Danielle from her teen model casting days when trying to break into the business. Untouched hotness potential.

Welcome to Egotastic!, Danielle. Take off your denim and linger awhile. Enjoy.

Belusted Bikini Babes and Other Fine Things to Ogle

Kim Kardashian's Cleavage
She's showing off her busty cleavage in a crop top Read More »
Lingerie Hotness
This hot model in skimpy lingerie will make your weekend Read More »
Sexy Bikini Bods
These babes already have their bods summer-ready Read More »

These ladies will make you forget all about the Polar Vortex (The Chive)

This chick's butt has over 2 million followers (VH1)

Olivia Wilde's next movie involves sex, drugs, and more sex (Gossip Cop)

Kim Kardashian makes her own fashion malfunctions (HuffPo)

Lauren Auerbach brings T&A to H&M (Popoholic)

Bikini yoga gives me yogurt pants (Celebuzz)

Female athletes who are winning the selfies game (Busted Coverage)

Alexandra Daddario, Lili Simmons, and Jessica Parker Kennedy All Flashing Funbags in the Mr. Skin Minute (VIDEO)

 

It really was quite a week for nekkid hot bodies on screen, primarily the little screen, and certainly something not missed by our flesh-baring sharing friends at Mr. Skin. In fact, I spoke to Mr. Skin just last night and we both agreed that it's only January but it's already hard to imagine a nekkid introduction more profound than Alexandra Daddario and her epic tubes on True Detective this past week. Really one for the ages.

You can see another look at Alexandra Daddario in motion in the Mr. Skin Minute along with similarly nice topless reveals from Jessica Parker Kennedy in the new Black Sails series on Starz, and one terrific self-pleasuring topless scene from Lili Simmons in Banshee. Really quite a trifecta of hot bodies ripe and ready on modern digital media. What a time to be alive. Enjoy.

(This is absolutely the right time for you to invest a couple shekels in an Ego-discounted Mr. Skin membership. The best of times!)

Paris Hilton Almost Shows Off Her Hoohah With Revealing Dress on Red Carpet

Billionaire Barbie doesn't have many shots at Awards season red carpet appearances so you know she's going to make the most of it. At a pre-Grammy party last night, Paris dressed to impress with a dress that nearly showed off her lady parts, but kept just enough of her dignity to be more than enough dignity for Paris Hilton.

Say what you will about Billionaire Barbie, she get gets noticed. She doesn't scream or light herself on fire or even crash her cars so much anymore. She just figures out when and where to show a little something something expensive, and she gets noticed. I think this is semi-applause worthy. I know that dress is. We salute the skin. Enjoy.

Gaming’s Whacked Out Week: One Man’s Sweartastic Vendetta Against ‘Titanfall’ (VIDEO)

Whacked- Titanfall Tirade
NSFW language ahoy!

Xbox One exclusive Titanfall’s closed alpha kicked off this week. If you haven’t joined in, here’s a brief synopsis: bullets are fired, grenades thrown, mechs stomp around, and general violent happy funtimes are had by all.

But what of those of us who haven’t been able to join the next-gen shooting fun? Our only recourse, apparently, is to whine like little bitches on the Internet. Remembering, of course, to shoehorn in as many cuss words as possible. Just to make the fact that we’re all kinds of pissed about the whole situation perfectly clear.

How do we know this is the way forward? Because we learned from the master. This week’s madness comes courtesy of Game Junkys, who accelerates from simply 'getting disappointing news’ to a full-on furious swearathon at an alarming pace. He wants his effing Titanfall alpha code. His effing brother got an effing code, and he deserves an effing code too. After all, all he’s ever done is be a loyal effing follower of EA’s piece-of-shit effing games. Apparently.
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