Don’t think Celebrity Funbag Hacker Gate has done one single iota of damage to the constant, increasingly large flow of self-published selfies hotness emanating from our finest exhibitionist celebrities. If anything, it’s only increased the competition by way of pointing out that everybody and their mother, literally, are taking sexy photos of themselves if they’ve got the goods to flaunt. Even the good girls are being bad on camera, even if they don’t share on social media like most do these days.
This week’s Sextastic Twitpic Roundup includes Adrianne Curry flashing her bare booty in a thong, Selena Gomez bikini vacation fun time photos, Bella Thorne teen bikini showoff, Nina Agdal bikini biking hottie, Aubrey O’Day laying on her large yams, Ashley Tisdale white bikini hotness, Ariana Grande schoolgirl selfie, Beyonce perhaps slightly shopped bikini candids, and much much more. You owe it to the right thinkers who opened up the very first Dunkin Donuts in Los Angeles to check out each and every one of these sizzling hot social media candids. So much self-shared goodness. Enjoy.
Nobody quite carries herself like Kim Kardashian. The original dramatically curved petite celebrity with the accentuated derriere and the accentuated funbags that form an almost perfectly balanced apparatus for ogling. It’s as if Kim’s body was designed in a laboratory by really smart, and really horny, engineering students who wanted to prove the laws of cantilever by way of things that would give them woodies. Success I’d say.
Kim was strutting around town in a tight skirt and a top that showed off her equally robust pleasure puppies in what has to be her iconic T &A look. That which brought her fame and fortune and, someday, likely arthritis. Nevertheless, it truly is hard not to look. I think people unfairly rate her because of her personality. Alas, if only we men could stop being so un-shalow and go back to ogling her body parts. Enjoy.
Most people wear comfortable baggy clothes when they go to the airport. But most people aren’t Lady Gaga. She wore quite the provocative/weird outfit at the Athens International Airport. It’s sort of like a techno mermaid. She has a pair of metal seashells covering her supple ta-tas that are staying on by some kind of magic Gaga powers. The bottom is a see-through skirt in which you can see that amazing Gaga booty. She’s in the top five of booties of all time as far as I’m concerned. Gaga is obviously in tremendous shape, what with all that crazy dancing and whatnot that she does, but she’s still got some serious curves. She may be a big star but I know a shapely New York Italian booty when I see it and I’m looking at pictures of them right now.
I like Lady Gaga because she just doesn’t give a flying F about anything. If she wants to go to wear a meat dress or go to the airport dressed like a slutty Little Mermaid she’s going to do it.
One of the hotter young models to come on the scene lately is Sara Malakul Lane. She is so hot that she can’t stand to be fully clothed, which is a good thing. In this photoshoot Sara wore a see-through bodysuit in which you can clearly see everything. It’s not one of those see-through things that’s really opaque, it’s pretty darn clear. Her funbags are a work of art. They should be bronzed and mounted on a pedestal in some art museum for everyone to admire. I like her because she’s thin but still curvy. She’s got amazing legs that are all toned and long. You can see a hint of her lady parts as well. My favorite picture is the one in which she’s inserted her fingers in the bottom seam of the crotch as if she’s going to reveal something, but doesn’t. You flirt.
I hope to see more of Sara in the future. And by more of her I mean both that she gets more work and that she continues to show off skin.
For those of us fans of the young natural hottie models doing their thing ever so effortlessly, and maybe smoking a cigarettes teasingly while in a knit bikini, well Cora Keegan in this Lookbook by Aaron Feaver is the one for you. I mean, you don’t actually get her, but you do get to ogle all you like for free and imagine Cora as your flirty young mischievous girlfriend in oversized glasses and undersized outfits on your end of summer roadtrip vacation. At least, that’s what I’m dreaming about at the moment.
Sure, I along with so many of you love the bouncy flouncy ladies with the stacked racktastic. But I’m also a super huge fan of the naturally lean and less ample sextastic ladies who know exactly how to flaunt it. The world of lady hotness is hardly black and white. It’s just happy colors all over the spectrum. Enjoy.
Sometimes, you just need a little fluffy funbags in your face to make the midweek hump seem a whole lot humpier. For me, I couldn’t be more pleased with my Wednesday boobtastic repast. Namely, the giftedly bosomed Joey Fisher stripping out of her top and jeans to bring a whole new meaning to the word, ‘Yum’.
I don’t care who you are or what you do, life can take its toll on you. But as always, preciously sweet summer melons are the long journey’s oasis. The vision of moist nirvana breaking up your desert trek. Joey Fisher’s sweater puppies could milk up many a weary parched traveler. As long as I’m first, I’m good with sharing. Bless you and your gorgeous mams, Ms. Fisher. Huzzah!
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I’m not exactly sure why Candice Swanepoel and her Our Lady of Swanepoel bikini booty was working the lifeguard tower in Malibu, I only know it sent me rushing into the ocean to drown just enough to require her mouth to mouth. Or, you know, mouth to whatever might bring me back from the light. Sadly, Candice didn’t seem to notice my floundering, what with a million eyeballs leering at her ridiculously hot bikini body in display up on the wooden stand.
Candice Swanepoel isn’t just a bikini model, she’s a bikini goddess. She was born to pimp bikinis with her outstanding female form. It’s a gift from on high that Candice has done anything but forsake. I know the Baywatch lifeguard girls were a bit bustier, but I’ll take a streamlined Candice bikini body any day of the week, and twice on Sundays. Oh, Candice, you are the wind beneath my hard-ons. Enjoy.