Sometimes, life does work out for the dreamers. Like myself, dreaming about Thai Eurasian hottie Sara Malakul Lane so much lately, only to be rewarded by a bunch of you who sent in must-see screencaps from Sara’s recent skinematic bits of excellence in the movie Jailbait this year. If the movie title alone doesn’t hook you, then these super revealing shots of my new found lust certainly will. I wouldn’t yet call her a Sylvia Kristel for the modern era, but I suppose I might be getting close.
Sara, I’m open to running lines with you for any of your upcoming projects. I usually get pretty deep into character when helping hot actresses rehearse, but have no fear, I come equipped with costume for strict principal, evil prison guard, and harassing deviant boss, along with the necessary accessories and tools. This is an entirely complementary service on my part. All I ask in return is your willingness not to name names in your memoirs when it comes time to expose the worst of Hollywood. Let’s do this. Enjoy.
I happen to be in deep unending lust with the hot little bottom on TOWIE alum Kimberley Garner. Since her reality show publicity bump, Kimberley has been busy modeling bikinis, dating celebrity guys, and developing her own line of swimwear, which based entirely upon how she wore her own suit in Greece over the weekend, I have to believe is going to be a top seller.
Yes, Kimberley is one of those hot little minxy blondes who is sextastic all over. But I’d be lying if I didn’t share with you that I shared with her tight little thong bum how much I adore it more than all her other feminine parts. It was meant to be a secret, but the kitties out of the bag now, as it were. That tush on Kimberley is simply outrageous. I’d go to war over those cheeks just for the chance to return home one day to gently slap them and call them by some cute pet names. Kimberley, you had me at swimsuit Fall sale. I’m ready to buy it all. Enjoy.
I’ll say this for Lady Gaga, she’s not just a woman into big wardrobe and outlandish stage settings, she’s also somebody who understands the universal love of ta-ta’s and asstastic. Her wild dressups might appeal to a specific segment of the music buying audience, but her near constant boob flashing has a more broad appeal, even to somebody such as myself who would rather inject my eyeball with a syringe filled with ebola than listen to a Lady Gaga album. That’s probably a bit harsh of a comparative, so let’s say those are equal for me.
Nevertheless, here comes Gaga again out of a London hotel showing off her chest puppies in revealing fashion. It’s just hard to pass up a chance to ogle a woman hell bent on flashing her body in public. Rihanna, Miley, Lady Gaga, they all do it. I know. I peek every single time. I’m a victim of my own hormones. Who will start a charity for me? Still waiting. Nice hooters, Gaga. Enjoy.
Rihanna and other pop divas had quite a summer of flashing body parts (Idolator)
Genevieve Morton has the body of a girl goddess (Hollywood Tuna)
Ronda Kamihira is Bruce Jenner’s new squeeze and kind of hot actually (TMZ)
Hilary Duff is one big bosomed fairy for Halloween (HuffPo)
Xenia Deli wears lingerie like it’s everybody’s business (DrunkenStepfather)
Kristen Stewart has boobs and ass, who knew! (Popoholic)
Charlotte McKinney and her blonde racktastic barely in a bikini (TheSuperficial)
Do you want to see the Playboy Halloween Party pics? Yeah you do (COED)
Just because the major shows might be off a week doesn’t mean the world of tubes on television ceases to exist. Oh, no, sir-ee. Or is that Siri? The point is, the Boob Tube Roundup exists so long as crazy hot thespianics are removing their tops for the purposes of dramatic interpretation on the small screen. Some of the bigger ta-ta shows don’t roll around until January, but for this Fall classic, we have some delightful chest puppies to leer.
This week’s Roundup includes Rachel Korine actively making the sexy and flashing her udders on The Knick, Michelle Batista super hottie and topless in HBO Brazil’s O Negocio, Ruth Wilson in flashback form in the second episode of The Affair, and Faye Marsay briefly flashing her Funions and showing off in an Internet sex tape in Glue. It’s all there for you, happy grabby ogling gentleman. You must merely press the play button of your life. Enjoy.
Check Out the Uncensored Boob Tube Roundup Video »
Jasmine Tookes has strutted the Victoria’s Secret catwalk before. A fun place to walk no doubt, but not nearly as fun for as as catching our lingerie wearing pimpstresses more candidly captured and clad in bikinis along some sunny beach as in Miami, the sandy home of international hotness. Jasmine chose a lovely lavender to ensure we didn’t miss her long lean and sultry present along the beach. A nice reminder that Victoria’s Secret could use perhaps some more hot women of color in their lingerie hawking enterprise.
If I’m being honest, we cut Jasmine’s boyfriend out of all these pictures. People often ask me why I do that and if it’s related to not wanting stupid guys to ruin photos or if it’s just a case of me being jealous of men who snoggle women well beyond my reach. The answer is yes. Enjoy
Kim Kardashian turned 34. Various body parts, harder to determine age without forensic pathology. But Kim and her parts celebrated big time in Vegas over the weekend her birthday and more so the fact that she was getting paid to celebrate her birthday. They just don’t hand that privilege out to anyone. It helps if you promise to being along your healthy humpers and show them off to the entire Vegas nightclub audience who has to pay to join your little soiree.
I always had trouble getting people to show up to my birthday parties, let alone paying a cover to get in. Probably has something to do with that dress she’s wearing. I know I couldn’t pull that off. I’m assuming it was designed especially for Kim and her less than 34 year old yummy yams. If only she could get 34 of them, then we could’ve have blown them out and applauded. Kim, you are not shy about showing off your moneymakers. I will give you that. Enjoy.