Sabine Jemeljanova vs. Kelly Hall Topless in the Battle of the Boobtastic

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Oh, baby, I mean, babies, babes, or just boobtastic. It’s time for our weekly tradition of gathering up two of the fairest funbagged wenches in all eleven counties and pitting them pears one against the next until a victor in the Battle of the Boobtastic is once more declared. Some have described this weekly tournament as barbaric, actually, that was my mom who said that. But most recognize it as a valid a sport as golf, only, you know, an actual sport.

This week’s vying vixens for the title of best puppies is the buxom hottie Sabine Jemeljanova wearing glasses to make you suffer extra hard, and Kelly Hall one perfectly alluring smiled and stacked woman of the sextastic arts. I don’t envy your job of selecting suckling wonderments between these two fine brunettes, but select you must. In you experienced opinion, whose ta-ta’s reign supreme?

Battle of the Boobtastic: Sabine Jemeljanova vs. Kelly Hall

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Photo Credit: Page 3 Magazine

Laetitia Casta Almost Nekkid and Wicked Sextastic for Lui Magazine

Laetitia Casta, where have you been all my life? Just kidding, I’ve been peeking, leering, and spying on you since forever. And you just keep getting hotter and hotter.

Now at age 36, this French actress and model since her teenaged years just seems to be getting even that much more alluring and passion inducing. As evidence I present this Mario Sorrenti shot pictorial for Lui magazine. If you look up barely covered hottie in the French dictionary, you might just find these photos of Laetitia’s bare bottom and heavenly female form. She is a winner. though I feel like the champ for getting to peek on her near nekkid. The first rule of Egotastic!, never apologize for being human. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Lui Magazine

Kelly Brook Might Just Be Your Ultimate Woman of the Year

Ultimate Woman of the Year Awards? Yes, that’s precisely where I’d expect to find Kelly Brook and her dramatically impacting derriere of so many late night and very early morning dreams. Have thumper will travel for Kelly who is a must invite to any hottie girl with curves event. I’m not exactly sure who Cosmo magazine picked as their winners, but I’m pretty sure I could do a good job myself with my eyes closed. Just hands. Ultimate woman right here I’d announce with a grin on my face beneath my blindfold.

Kelly Brook is the answer to the prayer, Dear Sir, please give me a bodaciously curvaceous woman with a thumper I could explore for years and never twice land on the same spot. I should know, it’s one of my daily requests right after peace on earth, though not necessarily in that order. Kelly Brook, you are woman and I can hear you roar. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Splash News / Getty Images / GSI

Carla Hidalgo Topless Actress Hotness in Interviu Magazine


You may not be familiar with Spanish actress and TV hostess Carla Hidalgo, but after ogling her in her topless pictorial spread in Interviu magazine, you’ll likely want to add her to your Forty and Faptastic personal list. I know you keep one too, though perhaps yours isn’t written in permanent marker and framed from Aaron Brothers on the wall of your bedroom. Or, maybe it is. I respect that.

Carla follows in the grand tradition of European actresses not too frightened to appear topless in entertainment magazines because, well, she looks damn amazing, but it’s also just less of a taboo than here in America where nipples are tantamount to yelling fire in a crowded theater. I’m not sure why, but, I’m glad to be the guy who helps everybody work around that little issue. Well done, Carla. I respect both of your dramatic arts dearly. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Interviu

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Naked News $4 Cyber Week Special! This Is Christmas Gone Nekkid Wild



You know I’m a big fan of getting my news from the hot stripping girls of Naked News. I can quite assure you if you step away from the depressing TV news and switch to girls like hot ginger Angie Heyward delivering the days entertainment, sports, and current affairs while baring her stellar body, you will smile approximately ten times harder than before.

For CyberWeek before Christmas, the good folks at Naked News have a once in a I’ve never heard before special offer:

Only $4/month for an annual pass to Naked News!

Don’t just buy it for every single person you know for Christmas this year, buy it for yourself. Make the whole world brighter.

Birds will chirp, that taco you shouldn’t have eaten last night at 3am won’t burn so bad, and life will generally be more pleasant. Also, your boners will be 29% more potent, though the FDA precludes me from calling that a fact. Do this now. You can thank me later at the after-party. Enjoy.

Zoe Kravitz Bikinis on the Beach in Miami

I’ll say this for Zoe Kravitz, we don’t see her much around these parts, but when we do, man, I’m so glad we do. The Lenny-Lisa offspring shows up about once a year in her bikini in Miami or other southern hotspot and reminds me that I truly wish she and her sweet body were in the public eye more often. Or before my eyes at least, the rest of you can be on your own.

Zoe somehow managed two different colored bikinis before even film could be changed in the camera (which I think stopped happening around 2004) and some signature hair, making her an eye-popping and heart stopping present for the gentleman oglers who have followed my instructions and camped themselves in the sand of Miami for the winter. Oh, to be the thong snuggled into that derriere. Sorry, I digress. Though as you know by now, for me, dreaming of being a bikini thong is hardly a digression. Enjoy.

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Miley Cyrus Nipple Pasties Only in Miami

I’m sure Miley Cyrus must’ve been headed to some kind of costume event as this isn’t how she normally… well, actually, this is kind of how she normally appears in public, though the straight up pasties only look is something rather new.

Miley and her new boyfriend one of the Schwarzenegger kids hit some event in Miami where Miley felt that absolutely no top or bra, just some silver cones over her teat-ends would suffice as far as semi-formal wear. I applaud Miley once again for pushing the boundaries of public exhibitionism. She may not be your particular favorite to see mostly topless about town, but she certainly has raised the bar for all the other sextastic celebrities in her industry. For the twenty or so other pop divas you now see performing, strutting, or just plain bopping about town half-nekkid, you can thank Miley a good bit. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: PCN